Page 78 of Reckless Devotion

The tips of my ears turn hot and suddenly it feels like you could cook a sausage on my back. I’ve never been good at taking compliments. I mean, tell me more, but like…perhaps don’t make eye contact whilst you do?

“You had nothing and no one, and yet you still found it in your heart to give what little you had to her. Do you know how unusual that is?” His molten eyes bore into mine as I feel one tear slip over.

“I wasn’tjudgingyou, I was thinking how tough it must be to feel like you were born into the wrong body, and I was thinking how damn lucky she is to have a sister like you at her side while she goes through that.”

Okay, I’m going to bawl like a baby if he doesn’t shut up. I start waffling, looking to divert the serious set to his pitch.

“I spoke to just about every specialist on the east coast to find out what the best approach would be, and even still I…” I train off and give my head a sharp shake as the oh-so-familiar imposter syndrome begins to creep in. “When she’s legally an adult she can make the choice to transition physically if that is what she wants. But not before then.”

My teeth clamp down on my lower lip. It qualifies as one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. Where do you draw the line between wanting to accept and love her how she is, but also wanting her to wait to have surgeries that are incredibly invasive and pretty dang hard to reverse? There doesn’t seem to be one right answer, so I drew a line in the sand with the advice I was given from professionals. We talked about it, and she accepted that decision. I then learned everything I could about supporting her, and we created her new identity together—brainstorming names, choosing hairstyles, buying a whole new wardrobe.

“That makes sense.” He drops a casual kiss to the round of my shoulder.

“Sometimes the family you choose is more important than the family who didn’t choose you,” I whisper huskily.

His eyes trace my face intently, cataloging every line. “To the family you choose,” he repeats softly, sweeping a flyaway hair back around my ear.

I can feel reality waiting in the wings to reclaim me from this fever dream, where somehowI’mthe girl a man like Chase Walker looks at this way, but I push it away, choosing to hide here for just a little bit longer.

Chapter 29

Chase:Where have you disappeared to?

Emily:I had a facelift and I’m in hiding for recovery.

Chase:You’re 33????

Emily:Not anymore, he’s shaved at least 10 years off.

Chase:You’re full of shit. Where have you really been?

Emily:I’m actually an undercover CIA agent and my cover got blown.

Chase:Cut the shit.

Emily:I got added to the Artemis II crew last minute. I’m currently orbiting the moon.

Chase:These made-up stories are becoming less and less believable.

Emily:Welcome to the game, brother.

CHASE

Laughter rends the air, the kind that people do when they hear a joke that makes their belly hurt.

I round the corner, freezing in my tracks when I see Pepper perched on the edge of Tessa’s desk, a steaming cup ofcoffee in her hand and the full attention of my secretary. Who is currently wiping tears from beneath her eyes, her slim spectacles held aloft in one hand.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tessa laugh, and I had kind of written it off as her not knowing how.

“And then she said, ‘Why are you asking me, I’m just an asparagus!’” Pepper’s eyes crinkle around the edges as she delivers this line.

Tessa howls, tipping her head back and slapping her knee. The office door in front of me opens, and Elizabeth walks out to see what all the commotion is, followed shortly by a lady with short blonde hair with a small pink bow that looks vaguely familiar.

“Don’t ask.” I shrug when Elizabeth looks my way in surprise, forcing my legs to move again.

“Mr. Walker?” Elizabeth calls out after me, smoothing her sharply tailored Armani skirt suit. “I find myself needing you to look over some data. Are you free?”

She presses slim spectacles up her nose, blinking rapidly. Despite her coiffed appearance, Elizabeth has always been a little kooky. But then again, she’s a tech whiz who used to work for the government, so it kind of comes with the territory sometimes. She wouldn’t be a senior leadership executive here if she wasn’t worth putting up with a little eccentricity.