Page 106 of Reckless Devotion

“You’ll be transferred to holding in the morning. We can help set you up in your own room and make sure you’re looked out for, if you cooperate.”

Great, so I can add spreading my cheeks and coughing to the list of humiliation from the past twenty-four hours.

“The girls in Borough can be quite handsy, so I hear.”

Silence falls again, and I have no intention of breaking it. I’ve watched too many hours of crime documentaries to know that my best shot is to keep my mouth shut.

“Well, that’s a real shame. But it’s your life to throw away, I guess.”

The sound of his footsteps retreats toward the door and I squeeze my eyes shut tighter. As the detective leaves the room, I do something I’ve never done and open myself up to a higher power that I don’t believe in, no other option left to me than to pray.

Chapter 37

Emily:They’re keeping Mom on a 72-hour hold.

Mia:What happens then?

Emily:That very much depends on how the next couple of days goes.

Mason:Perhaps it’s the best place for her right now.

Emily:Strapped to a bed and sedated??

Mason:No different to how she spends most of her days.

Emily:Thanks Mace. When we want someone to do absolutely fucking nothing to help, we’ll call you.

CHASE

Mia’s face doesn’t move, her eyes wide and mouth agape above her coffee mug.

“Say that again?” Mason asks dumbfounded a few feet behind her, holding a crystal tumbler of scotch.

“I’ve applied for guardianship of Sunny.”

Their large penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park falls as silent as it can with three young kids in it, Maceyhumming out of tune as she colors on the low coffee table and the boys babbling around on the floor together by Mia’s feet.

Mia recovers herself first. “That’s…a huge deal.”

The sun is still low enough in the sky that the floor-to-ceiling windows shine with deep golden sun, the early morning city wrapped around us. I haven’t slept and still wear my tuxedo from the night before, and I take the scotch offered by Mason gratefully even though it’s technically far too early in the day to be drinking.

“I know.” I nod, taking a sip of the stringent liquid and hoping it stops my mind from racing. “If she wants me, that is.”

It’s like physical pain being away from Pepper. Just knowingshe’s somewhere I can’t get to her, alone and probably terrified. The bridge of my nose prickles and I swipe a hand down my face.

“Look, Chase,” Mia starts, shifting in her seat on the couch opposite. “By all means, if you want to jump off this cliff, I am right behind you all the way, but before you jump…are yousureyou’re ready for this?”

She fixes me with a well-meaning worry that doesn’t deserve the frustration I feel bubbling up, which has nothing to do with her and everything to do with how fucked up this situation is. The best place for Sunny is with Pepper, but if there is a chance that can’t happen, there is no way I can abandon her. I made a vow to help her no matter what, and shit…the kid has burrowed her way into my heart and set up camp. She’s quirky and funny, and so unlike what I imagined a fifteen-year-old to be.

“Kids are a big commitment. No less a teenager,” Mason adds, taking a seat beside me.

I know they mean well. I’d probably say all of these things if I were them, too. But it doesn’t stop the restless irritation.

I stare down at my drink, swirling it around the thick square ice in the middle. This feels like a defining moment, one that I might look back on for years to come. Because as I sit here, taking a quiet moment to ponder, I realize that my fear isn’t about taking responsibility for Sunny. It’s about Pepper not being there with us.

“I’m ready.”

I look up and see Mia’s mouth twist and after a beat, break into a slow smile. “Then let’s go get you a teenager.”