Page 104 of Demon's Beauty

Breathing in the moment, knowing it can’t last.

“And what about you?” he asks, softly. “What are you going to do about your Ascension?”

I don’t answer him right away.

I turn to face the railing, not even able to look at him

The question is still too big, too terrible, scratching at all the mental walls I’ve built against it.

I can’t ignore it forever.

I shouldn’t be ignoring it at all.

Finn deserves an answer.

He deserves so much more than I’ve given him so far, mostly because every time I think about starting this conversation with him, a giant pit opens up in the bottom of my stomach when I’m forced to face the truth.

Finn deserves so much more than this mess.

He’s got a wonderful family.

He has so much light in him, so much goodness.

And I’m… perpetually grumpy, overworked, and about to commit to spending my life with the coven as my first and highest commitment.

I’m about to spend my life alone, essentially, since I’ll always have to put the Crescent Coven and my sister witches above anything else, and it’s really hard to understand why.

Only…

I can’t lie to myself.

I know why I chose this path.

Today reminded me.

Working with Vayla and all the healers who came together to serve the people of Gales Harbor—it was just what I needed to remind me why I do this, why I’ve always loved healing and teaching and aimed for a spot high enough in the coven to let me do both for the rest of my life. To make a difference. To be the change I’ve always wanted to see.

Am I supposed to give that up for a guy? A guy I’ve known for barely a week?

Only again, I can’t lie to myself.

Finn is my mate.

Even if I wasn’t born here in this realm and the whole concept of mates is a little strange, I respect the Goddess and her magick enough not to question it.

Finn is my mate, and I don’t know what to do with that.

He’s a wonderful, kind, selfless person, and if I continue on my merry way into becoming a priestess, I’m going to ruin this for him. His one shot at a mate, and he was stuck with a witch who’s utterly unsuitable for being mated at all.

I’ve been silent long enough that I startle when Finn nudges me with his tail.

“Where’d you go, sunshine?”

“Somewhere far away from here.”

“Then come back to me,” he murmurs. “I’m right here.”

His tail winds around my waist, tugging me closer.