Page 59 of Ride or Die

I startle, turning back to see Bailey gaping at me incredulously.

She scoffs, lowering her voice. “You ain’t ever felt this way about no one before,” she says with an eyeroll, repeating my words. “She’s beautiful, and kind, and gentle—” Bailey blows a raspberry, cocking her head to the side. “Boy, youlikeher. In fact, I’m pretty damn sure that’s the universal definition of likin’ someone. You’re just too pig-headed and stupid to realize it.”

I blink. Did she just call me stupid? Before I can retort like a twelve-year-old, we’re interrupted by Pip. “What’ll it be, kids?”

“Really?” I glance up at Pip. “Nowyou decide to show?”

She looks between me and Bailey, clearly confused.

“Couldn’t have come over sometime in the last, I don’t know, five minutes?” I mutter, shaking my head to myself.

“Oh, don’t worry ’bout him, Pip,” Bailey says with a smart-ass grin. “He’s in love…”

“Love? Cole Dawson?” Pip practically hollers, drawing the attention of so many eyes in the diner, and I can’t bear to see if Clara’s one of them.

I throw my head back with a groan and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Bailey Bay, I swear to god.”

I’ve driven past my own damn house three times already and I have no idea why.

After dinner, I followed Bailey home and waited in my truck like I always do, watching until she waved me goodbye from the front door before she walked inside. Then, I headed back to the ranch. But instead of turning left on Country Road to head out toward Rattlesnake, I turned right and I continued to my place, driving right by and nearly veering off the side of the damn road to try see through the motherfuckin’ redbuds to determine whether the porch light was still on. It is. I managed to get a glimpse the second time, but now as I continue driving by for a third time, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck I’m even doing.

Clara and the kids left the diner after they finished their meal. They didn’t even stick around to have their dessert. Pip bagged it up for them and they took it to go without much more than a casual wave and a tight-lipped smile in my direction. I wanted to run after them—her—I wanted to make sure she was okay, but I didn’t because I’m an idiot. At least that’s what Bailey told me at least twenty-four times tonight.

I know what Clara thinks. She thinks Bailey’s my date, maybe even more. And I’m sure it all has to do with the way I left Meow’s Saturday night so damn fast. And probably how I didn’t reply to her until the next morning because the drive south is patchy at best. Hell, I didn’t even see her text messages untilwe got into Midland. And I didn’t get back to Summer until yesterday because the Butcher is a fuckin’ liar. And, since I couldn’t very well tell Clara that I had to escort a member of the mob down to the Mexican border to hand deliver god knows what to a goddamn cartel, I chose to tell her nothing. Not even a lie. Because again, I’m an idiot. And I’m sure my silence, and my sudden reappearance with Bailey by my side has only perpetuated whatever it is she’s been thinking these last few days.

Fuck’s sake. Bailey’s right. I am an idiot.

Before I know what I’m doing or why, I pull into the drive and follow it through the overgrown bushes, approaching the house. It’s late. I’m sure the kids are in bed. But I can tell by the flicker of blue light flashing through the crack in the curtain that the TV is on. Someone’s awake.

Shutting off the engine, I sit for a moment. Like a fucking creeper. Staring at the front door, waiting for what, I don’t know. When I see the curtain move aside, a silhouette peering out, I heave a resigned sigh and hop out of my truck right as the front door to the house opens and Clara steps out onto the porch.

“Hey,” she says tentatively, keeping her voice down and folding her arms across her chest. “Is everything okay?”

And I try so hard to keep my eyes up, trying not to allow my gaze to roam like it wants, but she’s wearing one of them tank tops again, the white one with the skinny straps, and… no bra. And those tiny-ass sleep shorts.Goddamn.

Scrubbing a hand down my face, I force my eyes to the dirt, approaching the porch silently until I remember she just asked me a question.

Snapping my head back up, I nod. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, I just—” When I realize I don’t have an explanation as to why the fuck I’m here at ten p.m. I huff a breath, glancing sideways to where thebarn looms in the shadows. “I just came to get something… um, out of the barn,” I lie. “Is… is that okay?”

Clara eyes me for a long beat, her brows knitting together like she doesn’t fully believe me. But then she lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “Yeah, of course.”

“Thanks,” I mutter, turning on my boots and walking with my head down toward the barn like a man on a mission.Fuckin’ pussy.

The light in the barn flickers as I pull the string, illuminating the space in a soft-yellow glow. And, for a moment, I just stand here, staring at my truck that I can’t get to start, at all the shit surrounding it collecting cobwebs and dust.

Bailey’s right. I do like Clara. More than I’ve ever liked anyone. Which, honestly isn’t saying a whole lot since I ain’t ever liked no one before. Unless it was in the heat of the moment and I was getting my dick sucked. But I like Clara. More than just… friends, or whatever it is we’re doing. And I know I shouldn’t because it’s probably the last thing she needs. But I can’t help the way I feel.

Chrissake. I scrub a hand over my face again, groaning under my breath.

“Find what you need?”

Startling, I spin around so quick I almost lose my balance, eyeing Clara as she stands in the open doorway watching me curiously.

“Uh…” I look around, searching for something I can grab that makes sense, but I’m at a loss so instead, I turn back to her and throw my hands up in the air, defeated. “I lied.”

Clara’s forehead puckers with obvious confusion.

“I didn’t come here to get somethin’,” I admit on a heaving exhale. Looking up at the pitched ceiling, I consider myself a moment before meeting her eyes again. “I-I came here to… to see you.”