Page 55 of Ride or Die

I look up from my tea, meeting Mama Joy’s kind eyes and I can tell, again, without saying anything she knows.

Squeezing my arm, she winks at me. “You stay in Summer, and I promise you, you and those babies of yours are safer here than anywhere else in the whole damn world.”

I slide into bed, allowing my body to relax for the first time today.

Mama Joy stayed for a little while and we talked some more while we finished our tea. When she left, she hugged me in a way I can’t remember ever being hugged. Like a hug from a mom. Or at least how I assume a hug from a mom might feel. Mine peaced out when I was three; how the hell would I know?

After Mama Joy left, I locked up and had a nice long shower. Now, despite the time, and the fact that I worked six hours straight on my feet in ankle-breaking heels, I’m not tired. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head, I don’t think I could sleep even if I wanted to.

I think about what Mama Joy said. About staying. As far as I see it, we have two options. We could stay in Summer for a little longer, I could save up some more money from my tips at the club, and then we could be back on the road. I already have close to a thousand bucks. A couple more shifts, and we could be in a better financial situation than we were before we left West Virginia.

Or, we could just stay. Here in Summer. Indefinitely.

The problem with leaving is I don’t know where we’re going. The goal was to get as far away from Cain as we could. Texas was never part of the plan. In fact, if there’d been a list, I don’t even think Texas would’ve made the cut. I was thinking California.Somewhere warm, with a lot of people around to take the focus away. But at least here, there are people who are kind, people whowantto help.

If we do leave and go someplace new, maybe the people won’t be as nice. My father always said you’re only one bad decision away from ruining the rest of your life. He was a glass half-empty kind of guy. The only problem is, when you make a decision, you don’t know until after it’s made whether it was right or wrong, good or bad. The ultimate gamble. If we leave, there’s a whole heap of what ifs and not a lot of pros to go with the possible cons.

The most important thing of all is that Tommy and Billie are safe. Maybe with a few more shifts at Meow’s I’ll have enough for first and last on our own place. I know Cole said we can stay as long as we want, but this is his house. If we’re going to stay in Summer, then we need to plant our own roots, make our own home.

At the thought of Cole, I roll onto my side and grab my phone from the nightstand. There’s still no reply from him. And not only am I kind of annoyed because first of all, why was he even at the club tonight, and second of all, why did he practically demand I text him if he wasn’t going to text me back? But more than annoyed, I’m worried. If it was just a booty call, then maybe he’s asleep. If it really was work, then maybe there’s something wrong.

I decide to text him again.

Me: I hope you’re okay.

I stare at the words. I want to add more. Likewhy did you ask me to text you if you’re not going to respond? I already did the whole manipulative control thing with Cain; I don’t need to do it again with you.But, instead, I don’t send anything at all. I delete the message, switch the phone to silent and lock it, fallingback onto the pillows with a huff. And as I look up at the night shadows as they dance across the ceiling, I try so hard not to think about Cole, only to fail miserably.

CHAPTER 20

CLARA

The twang of a country music song greets us the second the kids and I walk into Pip’s diner. After a successful day registering at Summer Elementary School, I promised Tommy and Billie a celebratory meal at the diner; a much-needed treat for the three of us. I can’t remember the last time we went out for dinner as a family, not even back in West Virginia.

I was so scared filling out the registration papers at the school. I knew I needed to provide documentation that I simply couldn’t risk giving. But thankfully, it seems Mama Joy is a bit of an institution in this town. And, with a few pulled strings, Billie and Tommy are officially enrolled to start class come Monday, with absolutely no paper trail. God, I owe that woman more than I can even begin to fathom.

All I want is what’s best for my babies. And I know once they’re back in school, they’ll start to feel a little more at home as we navigate whatever this new normal is.

I haven’t seen Cole since he dipped out of the club on Saturday night. He texted me the day after, apologizing, telling me he was out of service and out of town. And, I know I don’t know him that well, but there was just something off abouthis messages. Tone is never easy to pick up in text form, and it’s usually pointless even trying to decipher it, but there was something wrong. I didn’t pry though. I just kept it casual and left it at that. And I haven’t heard from him since, which is kind of telling if I’m honest.

Finding an available booth by the front window, we slide in and don’t waste any time looking at the menu.

“Order whatever you guys want,” I say, winking at Billie when her big eyes light up. “I think I’m gonna get the cheeseburger with extra pickles, and I’m totally getting dessert.”

“Dessert?” Billie practically explodes.

I nod. “You bet. Butafterwe eat something… semi-nutritious.”

“I’m gonna get the fried chicken sandwich.” Tommy folds his menu and tucks it neatly back between the ketchup and mustard bottles.

I grin, turning to Billie knowing she can’t read much on the menu. “What about you, Bil?”

“I want chicken tenders and mac and cheese,” she says, clasping her hands together beneath her chin and offering a toothy grin. “Please.”

“What can I get y’all?”

I’m startled by an older lady appearing at our table, notepad and pencil prepped in her hands and a welcoming smile wrinkling her weathered face.

I give her our order and she writes it all down before glancing at me again. “You’re new in town, huh?”