Page 17 of Ride or Die

“Are… they okay?” I ask around a sob, glancing at the door again.

“I’m gonna give you one chance to tell me what the fuck is goin’ on,” he hisses. He ignores my question and closes the distance between us entirely so that he’s right there, all up in my personal space, so close I can feel his hot breath skating against my skin.

I wince instinctively, cowering away from the hand I’m so sure is about to collide with my face.

“Please don’t hurt me,” I beg, squeezing my eyes closed tight.

“Hurt you?”

I snap my head up then, taken aback by the blatant bewilderment laced in his tone, his eyes suddenly wide, face fraught with concern as he looks down at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“I-I ain’t gonna hurt ya,” he says and, although I’ve heard those words more than a few times in my life, the genuine guilt and confusion in his eyes tells me he’s not lying.

I flinch again when his big hands grab me by my shoulders, firm yet gentle. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he says again, his voice almost pleading. “I-I just need to know what the hell is goin’ on so that I can… I don’t know… fuckin’ help, or some shit. Jesus Christ. I ain’t gonna hurt you, I swear. I would never.”

“I needed money,” I finally manage to choke out through my tears, my words small and pitiful. “We were down to our last fifty bucks, and I-I tried to get a job in town but, no one—” Wiping my nose with the back of my trembling hand, I shake my head.

I wrap my arms around myself, my whole body shuddering from my sobs and the cool night air whipping against my heatedskin. With another sniffle I avert my gaze, looking down and shaking my head again.

“I have nothing. All I want is to keep my kids safe and… God, I can’t even do that right.” When the already overwhelming emotion gets the better of me, I bury my face in my hands and break down, crying so damn hard, each sob feels like it rips a piece of me away.

Suddenly, and so unexpectedly, strong arms come around me, holding me tight and stopping me from withering into a heap right here on the gravel.

“Shh,” he hushes, holding me close. “You’re okay.” Words whisper into my hair. “Your kids are fine. They sleepin’.”

I don’t know why, but that only makes me cry even harder, relief flooding through my body as my tears soak through his T-shirt. He doesn’t budge. Still holding me in a way I haven’t ever been held before, unrelenting and almost bone-crushingly tight, like he somehow knows this is exactly what I need right now.

It’s not until after I see Tommy and Billie asleep, cuddled up next to one another in the same twin bed that my anxiety eases enough for me to finally catch a breath.

With a soft kiss to each of their cheeks, I linger a moment to breathe them in while trying so hard not to wake them before slipping into the bathroom to wash my tear-stained face.

I change out of my uniform and into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt and tiptoe out of the motel room, closing the door with a soft click. I try to avoid Cole’s intense gaze as he tracks my every move, taking a seat in the cold metal chair next to him and pulling my knees up to my chest, hugging them tight.

“I got a call on my cell,” Cole begins after a long silence. “The caller ID said it was comin’ from this place, and when I answered it and heard a kid’s voice, I… I don’t know… I just knew.”

I close my eyes, bowing my head. I didn’t even realize I kept that damned receipt, but I’m so thankful that I did.

“He said he couldn’t reach you.”

“I don’t have a cell phone, and… that son of a bitch at the club didn’t tell me the kids had called until—” I shake my head. “I came here immediately.”

“There was some guy here, bangin’ on the door, tryin’ to get in.”

My heart lurches into the back of my throat because my first thought is that it’shim. He found us. He’s here. I find myself searching the darkness, tears pricking my eyes as fear wraps itself around my heart and squeezes to the point of pain.

“I was in Guthrie,” Cole continues, seemingly unaware of my panic. “Couldn’t get here straight away, so I called one of my… the deputy sheriff, and he came by. Said it was just some drunk, got his room number confused. It was all over by the time I arrived.”

My shoulders sag at that, but when I think just how scared the kids must’ve been, it’s like a knife straight to my throat.

Cole heaves a hard sigh, leaning back in the small chair, his long, denim-clad legs stretched out in front of him. “Now, you gonna tell me what’s really goin’ on?”

Feeling his eyes on me, I hug my knees a little tighter, staring straight ahead, at nothing in particular, my pulse thrumming loud in my head. I can’t tell him. I can’t tell anyone. It’s not safe. But it’s also not safe to leave my kids alone in a pay-by-the-hour motel at night either, so who am I to question what is or isn’t safe?

“What do you wanna know?” I ask, dreading his answer, my voice so small I don’t even know if he heard me.

Cole sniffs an unexpected laugh, and I look at him from the corner of my eye, my brows tugging together when I see a wry, dimpled smile curling his lips.

“I mean, your name might be a good place to start.” He arches a brow.