Page 51 of The Secret Bookshop in Ireland

All my best wishes,

Martha Fitzgerald

Unable to move, Ciara sat with the letter pressed to her chest for a moment. She heard her mother calling from the landing and then there was a knock on the door.

‘Ciara? Are you asleep?’ Maureen said through the closed door. ‘I have dinner on the table.’

‘Come in, Ma,’ Ciara said. ‘I have something to show you.’

Maureen entered, looking confused. ‘What’s wrong, pet? You look frightened.’

‘Not frightened, but stunned,’ Ciara said. She handed Maureen the letter. ‘Read this while I change. Can dinner wait for a while?’

‘Yes,’ Maureen mumbled, her eyes on the text. She didn’t utter another word until she had come to the end. Then she looked at Ciara, who had changed into jeans and a sweater. ‘Holy God in heaven, what a story.’

‘I know,’ Ciara said, trying to brush her hair with hands that shook. ‘I can’t believe it. Jarlath O’Toole must have been my grandfather.’

‘Which makes Oisín and Liz your second cousins,’ Maureen filled in.

Ciara nodded, sitting down on the bed again. ‘That’s the maddest part.’

‘Martha seems to have been such a kind woman,’ Maureen said. ‘But now we know why she didn’t like the O’Tooles.’

‘She did help Oisín all the same,’ Ciara pointed out. ‘So maybe she didn’t feel he should suffer for what his great-uncle did.’

‘How much does he know?’ Maureen asked. ‘All of it?’

‘I’m not sure.’ Ciara stood up and put the hairbrush away. ‘He kind of teased me with the story when we had dinner last night. But I didn’t pick up on it because the years didn’t match. Madge left for England just after she had given birth to Dad. Jarlath left three years later, so I didn’t think that the girl Oisín mentioned was Madge.’

‘I see,’ Maureen said, looking thoughtful. ‘Maybe Oisín is just guessing, or he might not have any idea at all who the girl was. Would it be better not to tell him, or Liz?’

‘But…’ Ciara stopped. ‘I was going to say that it would be nice for them to know that we’re related. But we should perhaps leave it alone for now.’

Maureen patted Ciara’s knee. ‘Yes, I think so. We could tell them later, but right now we have so many other things to consider.’

‘Yes, we do,’ Ciara said. ‘We’ll keep all this to ourselves for now and tackle it a bit later, when we have moved here for good.’

‘For good?’ Maureen asked, looking shocked. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I meant to tell you earlier. I quit my job. My boss didn’t want to give me any more leave, and she wasn’t very nice about it. So then I told her I’d quit.’

Maureen stared at Ciara. ‘You quit your job just like that? Oh, Ciara, that wasn’t very wise.’

‘I know. But what was I supposed to do?’ Ciara asked. ‘She wanted me back in the office next week. I know that you’re going to say that I lost my security net or something, but I actually think it was a good thing it happened. Now I can do what Martha wanted.’

‘What Martha wanted shouldn’t be your top priority,’ Maureen said, looking angry. ‘You should think of what you want and what is reasonable for you to do. This whole idea was mad from the start.’

‘I want to try all the same,’ Ciara mumbled, saddened by her mother’s attitude. ‘I thought you wanted me to do it.’

‘I wanted you to get it started and then sell it as a viable business,’ Maureen said, putting the letter on the bed. ‘But now you want to stay here in this remote village and forget all about what you built up in Dublin. Your career, your flat, your circle of friends. That’s not what I wanted for you.’ Maureen sighed and shook her head. ‘I shouldn’t have come here with you and encouraged you to even try to start up the shop. It’s all my fault you’re in this situation.’

‘No, it’s not,’ Ciara protested. Then she was silent for a moment while she stared at her mother, thinking about a good response to the tirade. Then, as if someone was whispering in her ear she remembered something. ‘Dad said to me once that everyone is on their own journey through life. Nobody else is responsible for what happens to you. It’s not your fault if I feel I want to make a life here. But I feel somehow that Dad would be happy I’m doing it.’

‘Oh,’ Maureen said, her eyes suddenly full of tears. ‘Well I…’ She nodded. ‘I see what you mean. And your father was right. We’re all on our own journey. I’m on mine too, of course.’ She took Ciara’s hand. ‘My hopes and dreams for you were that you’d have a secure future, but here you are, casting off and drifting away to something risky. But I suppose that’s what life is all about. Following your own star to your own destiny.’

Ciara put her arms around her mother. Then she leaned back on the bed, smiling. ‘I’m beginning to like this part of my journey.’

‘I need to let all this sink in,’ Maureen said. ‘It’s going a bit too fast for me.’