Page 23 of The Secret Bookshop in Ireland

‘How did you know?’ Ciara asked.

‘Just a wild guess.’

‘Are you one too?’ Ciara wanted to know.

‘No, I have a sister who lives in Galway,’ Ronan said in a flat voice. ‘Don’t see her much. She really struggles with my mother these days.’

‘Does she ever come for a visit?’ Ciara asked.

‘Now and then. Not very often,’ Ronan replied. ‘When she comes, my mother is ecstatic. Sarah is the girl who can do no wrong. You’d think she was royalty the way my mum goes on.’

‘Does it upset you?’

Ronan shrugged. ‘Not really. If she makes my mother happy for a little while, I can take it. When Sarah is around, my mum is so much brighter and that takes the load off my back for a while.’

Ciara nodded, feeling a pang of pity for this nice man with the sad eyes. How awful it must be to live with this guilt and never get a break from it. ‘I think you’re very brave,’ she said in a quiet voice.

‘Thank you,’ Ronan replied.

‘What about your father?’ Ciara asked. ‘Is he around?’

‘No,’ Ronan replied. ‘My parents divorced when I was ten. I haven’t seen him since before the accident.’

‘How sad for you.’

‘Not really,’ Ronan said. ‘I’m used to it. But enough about me. What are you going to do with your inheritance? The money is easy to deal with, but what about the house?’

‘I don’t know,’ Ciara said, feeling he wanted to change the subject away from his situation. She looked out across the overgrown garden. ‘I was thinking I’d just do it up and sell it. I love this area already, though, so it might be hard to give it up. It’s so remote and wild and peaceful at the same time – we’ve already been to dinner with some new friends. And the area hasn’t been developed or made into some kind of tourist trap oranything. Not like Enniskerry; that seems to be very upmarket. I saw some incredible villas there on the way up the mountains.’

‘Oh yes,’ Ronan agreed. ‘The houses there sell for millions.’

‘It’s strange to drive towards Cherrywood,’ Ciara said. ‘You really leave the modern world behind and get into a world steeped in history. I could imagine the O’Toole and O’Byrne clansmen riding down those steep slopes.’

‘Sounds romantic, but I’m sure it wasn’t,’ Ronan remarked, smiling. ‘They were rough men who wouldn’t think twice about chopping someone’s head off if they weren’t happy.’

‘You’re probably right,’ Ciara said. She looked up at Ronan’s face, his straight nose and handsome features. She was so intrigued by him. ‘So what happened to your girlfriend?’ she asked, suddenly wanting to know if he was still in touch with her. She had an odd feeling that he hadn’t talked much about his situation to anyone until now.

‘What girlfriend?’ Ronan asked.

‘The one who sent that text message,’ Ciara replied and immediately regretted what she had said. It didn’t even answer the question she really wanted to ask anyway. Which was, did he have a girlfriend now? ‘Sorry, that’s none of my business.’

‘Oh that’s okay,’ Ronan said. ‘We broke up after the accident. I think she couldn’t cope with my guilt and then the fact that I was now going to look after my disabled mother. I have a feeling she thought that I blamed her for the accident. But I didn’t really. She couldn’t have known that I was driving at the time.’

‘A lot of people would have felt it was somehow her fault,’ Ciara said.

‘What would be the point of blaming her? It happened and I had to deal with it. I’ve tried to tell her that, but I’m not sure she believed me. But maybe one day we might meet and talk about it.’ He started to get up. ‘I can’t stay long. My mother thinks I’m in the office, so I have to head home in the early afternoon.’

‘Must be hard for you,’ Ciara remarked. ‘I mean, not to be able to have any time for yourself.’

‘Oh, I do from time to time. Aino stays on for a bit if I want to go out with friends,’ Ronan said. ‘But I don’t ask her that often. My friends seem to have forgotten about me, or maybe they just can’t cope with my situation. It tends to put a dampener on a jolly evening, somehow. In any case, my mother likes me around in the evenings. Aino gets her ready for bed and then I make dinner and we eat on a tray in the living room and watch TV until she gets tired. I then tuck her into bed and sit with her until she goes to sleep around nine o’clock. Then I can relax and read or research or whatever until bedtime. She has a bell so she can call me if she wakes up in the middle of the night.’

Ciara didn’t quite know what to say. Ronan’s life seemed so dreary and sad and she didn’t know how he put up with it. He seemed to feel he had to look after his mother full time as the accident had been his fault, but maybe he had an exaggerated feeling of duty? ‘I think you’re amazing,’ she finally said.

Ronan stood there for a while looking slightly awkward. ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘And thanks for listening. Is there anything else I can do before I leave?’

‘We’ll go and see what Ma has been up to in the shop,’ Ciara said, getting up.

‘I’m glad you’re not alone up here.’ Ronan walked to the gate, accompanied by Brian. ‘Is he allowed out of the garden?’