Page 61 of Sleeper: The Palisades Edition
“Okay.”
“Uh-huh… New nanny.” He grins up at me. “Very nice. Good… ‘Dickhead.’ Ach! Come on. You’re very, very hard on yourself—much too hard on yourself, boy. You worry about your kids?”
“Of course I do.”
“Let me tell you—bein’ a parent, jes’ like bein’ human, is all about makin’ mistakes. Huge ones, little ones. I once forgot my children in the car at the mall for two hours. But guess what? They were fine. They didn’t realize I’d gone until the battery died on their—what do ya call it—the wee game thing. The old ones.”
“Game Boy.”
“Aye. You know when kids worry? When they see their parents worry.” He slaps the pages of my sleep diary. “So…let me get this straight… See if I can read between the lines here… New nanny at home.” He gives me the thumbs up. “Relief. The right kind of exercise.” He winks at me. “Everything’s grand. Sleep is good.”
“Basically,yes.”
“Fuck things up with the new nanny?” He points his thumbs down. “Everything goes to shit. Sleep’s shit. Mood’s shit.”
“In a nutshell, sure.”
“So. Don’t fuck things up with the new nanny.”
“It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“Yeah? How so?”
“She’s my best friend’s little sister.”
“And?”
“And she’s my kids’ nanny now. They love her. If I screw things up with her, I might screw things up for them too. I might screw things up with my friend.”
He stares at me for a few seconds. “Forgot to check somethin’. Hang on.” He reaches over and sticks his hand under my balls. I’m wearing jeans and he is a doctor, but what the fuck? “Whaddya know. Ya still got ‘em.” He yanks his hand away. “Had me worried there for a minute. Anythin’ might screw everythin’ up. Live your life. You only get this one. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Set things straight with the nanny and be done with it.”
“That’s it? That’s your professional medical opinion?”
“Whatever works, lad. For me—if I might share a wee bit of my own life with you.” He leans forward, lowering his voice.
I nod, warily, as I cross my legs in a totally manly way so he doesn’t try to grab my nut sac again.
“I been married to the same woman for twenty-five years, God bless her soul, and whenever I’m tossin’ and turnin’ in bed, keepin’ her up at night…she’ll jes’ reach over and give me a nice slow tug on the old knob. Nothin’ too excitin’ you understand, jes’ a nice slow tug toget me off and we’re done. Simple as that. A bonnie lass and a good handy and you’re all set to conquer sleep and the world… Now…” He claps his hands together. “When’s the next Shane Miller picture comin’ to a theater near me?”
“I’ve got a big Melissa McCarthy comedy coming out in a couple of months and then a little independent film coming out hopefully not long after that.”
“Nothin’ too artsy-fartsy, I hope.”
“Not at all. I’m really excited about it.”Everyone’s a critic.
“Excellent. Off ya go.”
Yeah.
I still don’t know if Dr. Gavin Shaw is a good physician or not, but off I go.
When I get to my car, I find myself initiating a call that I hadn’t planned to make before my doctor’s appointment, but now it seems like the only call to make.
“Hey, superstar.”Nico looks surprised to see that I made it to the restaurant before he did, and rightly so. It’s happened maybe once before since I moved to the Palisades.
We bro-hug. His leather jacket has the vague scent of bars and some kind of incense and the perfume of dozens of women. I’m so much more aware of smells now because of Willa. In my peripheral vision, I can see the hostess and a couple of waitresses whispering to each other and giggling about us. I’m hoping thatthis kind of recognition and attention, if not our thirteen-year friendship, is what will prevent Nico from flipping our table at some point during brunch. But I’m also ready for anything, now that I’ve made a decision.
We shoot the shit and order an early lunch and a beer for each of us, catching up. I ask him about his Grammie; he asks about my mom. The usual. Until finally, he asks, “How’s Willa working out for you?”
