Page 39 of Sleeper: The Palisades Edition

“Yaaaaah!” the little girl who must be Abby exclaims as she runs over to Summer and they jump up and downin front of each other. Lucky runs over to them too, and there doesn’t seem to be any trace of animosity left between the twins.

I, however, have very quickly developed some animosity for this blonde woman with blown-out hair and a fake tan, probably fake boobs, and tight white jeans—I mean come on… Tight white jeans at the zoo on a Saturday afternoon?

I take a seat on the bench and monitor the kids in my peripheral vision while keeping a closer eye on this woman who keeps tossing her hair, putting her hand on Shane’s arm, and throwing her head back when she laughs. She must be a single mom. Well, isn’t that cute. A single mom and a single dad at the zoo. How fucking perfect.

I thought it was so funny how overprotective Shane was being when his personal trainer was flirting with me at the house the other day, but this feels really shitty.

I mean, that’s probably what he needs—a rich, fake-boobed single mom who probably used to be married to some other actor.

Shane keeps glancing over my way, but he’s wearing sunglasses so I can’t see his eyes, and he is such a friendly guy that I cannot for the life of me tell if he wants me to rescue him or not. Because I would very much like to rescue him. Or rescue myself from this terrible situation.

Shane waves me over to come join him. I’m by his side in less than two seconds.

“This is our new nanny, Willa. Willa, this is Abby’s mom,” he says, and I can tell from the way he says it that he doesn’t remember her name.

“Hey, Willa,” she says, offering me a limp handshake. “I’m Jillian.”

You used about three too many spritzes of Calvin Klein Obsession today, Jillian, but you have a vintage bottle—good for you.“Nice to meet you, Jillian. Looks like the twins are pretty fond of Abby.”

“Yes, they get along great. Well, you should bring the twins over for dinner,” she says, touching Shane’s arm again. Somebody came to the zoo on a single dad safari. Can’t say I blame her. “I bet you could use a good home-cooked meal.” She whips out her phone. “How about next Saturday? We can take the kids to a matinee first. Make a day of it.”

“Actually, you can come to our house if you want—the two of you. We’ve got a nice view of the sunset at dinnertime.”

Our house.

He puts his arm around my shoulder, just for a second, but he makes a point. “Willa here is kind of an amazing cook. She uses a ton of butter, but we like it anyway. Dinnertime is fun at our place.”

Our place.

“You’re welcome to join us sometime.” I give her my best hostess smile.

Us.

Jillian’s coral-stained lips are sticking to her bleached-white teeth, but I can tell she wants to kill me, and I am fine with it.

“Yeah, we’d love to have the two of you over for dinner. Sometime.”

Jillian puts her phone away. “Fantastic. Sounds fun. Let’s go, Abby! Time to go! Great to see you, Shane.”She nods at me, grabs her daughter, and strides away in her four-inch mules.

“Can we see the giraffes now?” Lucky asks. He and his sister are holding hands, and it’s pretty much the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

“Let’s go find those giraffes,” Shane says.

All I really want to do is drag him to the reptile house and dry hump him, but I get a shot of the twins holding hands in front of us to send to their mother later.

“Well, I sure hope Jillian takes you up on your offer,” I say as we stroll down the path to the giraffes.

“Sorry. I didn’t know how else to get out of that.”

“No, I think you chose the perfect way. Happy to be your friendly domestic cockblocker.” I give him a side-glance.

He’s grinning, and he’s so hot in that baseball cap and those sunglasses, but instead of dragging him to the reptile house, I bump against his arm with my arm. Classic move from the handbook of seduction techniques for eight-year olds.

He does it back to me. And then he rests his arm on my shoulder again. Not in a sexy way—in the way that my brother would. But still. We’re in public. We’re with the kids. I’ll take it.

And then I hear his back pocket vibrate. He uses his other hand to check who’s calling. When he removes his arm from my shoulder, I know immediately who it is.

“Yo, superstar!” I hear my brother say. Talk about a cockblocker. He must have sensed that a man was touching me.