Page 62 of Librarian

Our relationship can’t be built on a foundation of tit-for-tat, but I doubt I’ll be able to undo a lifetime’s worth of trauma with one gesture.

“In order for me to do that, you have to help me get the Arcanaeum back,” I reason poorly. “It’s a self-serving offer.”

His shoulders soften. “I would’ve done that anyway. Try again.”

I sink back against the pillows with a sigh. “Sometimes people do things simply because they care, and that’s enough.” I pause, wondering if he’ll say anything more, but he simply sits there, staring. “Will you play some more?”

There’s a heartbeat where I think he’ll deny me, but then he swivels, resting his fingers back on the keys.

And in the melodic darkness, I think I catch a glimmer in the corner of his eye, but it’s blinked away so swiftly that I might’ve imagined it.

Eighteen

Northcliff

It’s my turn to watch Kyrith. Unfortunately, she’s an early riser, so by the time I’ve hauled my ass out of bed, the only person in her room is Jasper. The Scot is snoring, snuggling her pillow and completely oblivious to the fact that the woman he was supposed to be keeping tabs on is fucking gone.

My anxiety is short-lived, because she’s left a note on her bedside table. She’s off doing research into the stupid Ó Rinn curse, so it doesn’t take a genius to realise where she is.

You can take the Librarian out of the Library…

“No, I’m not helping,” I say, pre-emptively, as Eddy sticks her head out of her door. “I need to find Kyrith.”

“But the party is in a couple of days!” Eddy growls. “And I don’t have all the fairy lights up yet.”

“You have enough minions,” I dismiss. “And last year you told me Valentine’s Day was overrated. What happened to that?”

“Last year, we weren’t surrounded by hot Scottish women,” Eddy retorts. “You might be getting some, but some of us have been pathetically celibate since that car accident.” My jawtightens as it always does whenever I think about that night, and she softens instantly. “I’m not blaming you for what happened.”

I know. She never fucking does. I wish she would. Maybe then I could get angry back. We could fight about it. I can deal with anger. I can’t deal with her pity and forgiveness and understanding.

My throat is thick as I reply, “Our parents would still be alive if I hadn’t turned Josef down. Mum would be here and helping you with this shit if?—”

“You’re being thick,” she interrupts. “He would’ve just killed all three of us later. Men like Josef don’t leave loose ends.” She pauses, then softens. “You’re right, Mum would be helping me if she were here. She always decorated for birthdays, for Christmas, for any reason she could because she knew that those were the times that really mattered.” Eddy lifts her chin, even though there’s a wobble to her voice. “Now it’s my job, and I intend to make her proud.”

She clears her throat, but I can’t meet her eyes. She gets it; because she changes tactics, crossing the hall and banging on Lambert’s door.

“Lambert! Get your ass up! If North won’t help me, you can. Or are all those muscles just for show?”

A muffled groan echoes from beyond the door, and I smirk despite myself. Leaving her to pester him with a parting two-fingered salute, I turn and take the stairs three at a time. At least being on Kyrith duty gives me an excuse to get out of that.

No part of me wants to be hanging up pink bunting for the rest of the day.

Still, I slow down as I cross the yard, putting myself back together with deep breaths. By the time I reach Clan McKinley’s archives, I’ve shut the memory of our parents’ deaths away.

This library has nothing on the Arcanaeum, but it’s still large enough to give me a headache. At least I don’t have to go far tofind Kyrith; she’s standing at one of the tablets, poking at it like adding more force will make it work.

“This is the most ridiculous system,” she gripes under her breath. “What was wrong with index cards? Why on earth would anyone thinkthismakes everything easier?”

Just the sight of her eases the last of the lingering tension in my body, and I smirk. A flicker in the corner of my eye makes me bristle, but it’s only Leo, sliding a book back onto a shelf just out of her view. He catches me looking and offers me a nod.

I’m still pissed at the bastard for what he did, but it eases something in me to know that Kyrith wasn’t in here alone. Plus…after a few nights of sleeping on it, I’ve realised I can’t really criticise. He’s not the only one who’s risked pissing her off to save his family. He was just unlucky enough to succeed.

She forgave me when Josef sent me to break into the Vault. Sure, Mathias’s grimoire was never down there in the first place, but the principle is the same. I suppose in his case, it was worse because they had something before he went rogue. Anyone with eyes could see it.

That morning Lambert and I walked in on them snuggling, I thought he might stop fighting it. Instead, he threw her away.

I just don’t understand why.