Page 113 of Librarian

Not a single sign of life.

Just grey linoleum and white paint shrouded in mist. Chrome fixings reflecting harsh fluorescent lighting.

Sterile.

Cold.

Dead.

I wish I could say that our rooms are unaffected, but I still can’t feel any of it. I’m still…severed.

The knot of fear in my gut that loosened when we crossed the threshold sours, turning to grief.

This isn’t the Library I knew. I can redecorate, spend days turning everything back to how it once was, but am I even the Librarian anymore if we’re not connected?

A hand lands on my shoulder, tugging me up and into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, boss,” Lambert mumbles into my hair. “And I know this isn’t what you expected, but we can restore it, right? I’ll help. We all will.”

It’s a nice sentiment, but right now, none of us are in any shape to do anything. I sweep a glance over the group slumped on the floor in the foyer.

Pierce is broken, head in his hands as he curls into himself against the door. He didn’t react at all while Lambert quietly filled us in on everything that happened at enforcement headquarters. There was nothing they could’ve done. We had no time to adequately prepare, and to be honest, we’re lucky they weren’t all caught in the process.

Still, to have come so close and fail anyway is a special kind of torture.

At least he was able to say goodbye, though that’s a cold comfort.

Dakari and Jasper are still unconscious and resting, but they’ll recover. North and Eddy look exhausted, sitting side by side on the floor as they examine the broken dagger.

Despite having faced off against Pierce’s magic earlier, Lambert is probably in the best shape of any of us, and that solidifies my next move.

“Would you…?” I clear my throat. “Can you run upstairs and tell me if the Clock Tower is still as we left it? Or no. Wait. We can just conjure some beds down here for the night. That would be easier than getting them upstairs. I don’t…I don’t know if the bathrooms are still as they were.”

There was no logical reason for Mathias to keep the showers I installed for Lambert to use after magiball practice, except perhaps laziness.

“I’ll check both. You get started on a bed for those two.” He pecks my cheek in the briefest of kisses, squeezing me extra tight for a second. “Be right back.”

He rushes off.

I have to keep going. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Because this… this is almost more heartbreaking than being locked out. Being here and being so keenly aware of the loss of everything that was.

“Bed,” I mutter, almost to myself. “I can do that. I just need a pen?—”

One is held out in front of me in the next breath.

Leo is watching me with concern etched across his hawkish features. When I don’t immediately accept his offering, he draws back slightly, adding, “Or I can take care of it, if you like.”

I shake my head, accepting the fountain pen and forcing gratitude into my half-smile. “I need to be doing things. You could conjure clean clothes for everyone? If you’re willing.”

“Of course.” He reaches out, then drops his hand before it can make contact with my upper arm. “I’m sorry it isn’t how you remember it, but Lambert was right. We’re here now. We’ll put everything to rights.”

I don’t acknowledge the promise, or the almost-touch, even though my heart cries out for it.

There are a lot of things I need to be doing right now. None of them involve playing at romance with him.

With that reminder, I bury my head in my grimoire and start drawing out conjuration runeforms that I didn’t add previously.