Page 88 of Defend Her Heart

He nods because he knows my answer even without me uttering a single word.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to process everything that’s just been thrown my way. Before I can figure out what I’m going to do, the sliding door opens again.

Luke and I turn at the same time. Standing in the doorway is a guy I’ve never seen before. His hair is slicked back with far too much gel and he’s wearing a bright pink polo with lime green shorts that are too fucking short for any man to wear. He can’t be more than five ten on a good day, and he’s wearing fucking boat shoes like he just walked off a yacht. Hell, he probably did.

This can’t be him. There’s no way this is the guy Avery is marrying.

The twatwaffle closes the door behind him and then nods at the two of us who have yet to say a word. “Sup. I’m Bryan.” Neither of us do or say anything.Bryansticks his hand out to shake ours. “I’m Avery’s fiancé.”

I don’t wait around to see if Luke shakes his hand. I push past him into the house and head straight for my suitcase. Grabbing my stuff, I open the front door to leave.

“Connor, wait!”

Luke runs up behind me but I don’t stop. He follows me to my car. To my surprise he keeps his mouth shut while I load up my suitcase in the trunk. As soon as I close it, he finally speaks.

“So, that’s it? You’re just going to run out of here because Avery got engaged?”

“Yep.”

I walk to the driver’s door and pull it open. Luke’s hand pushes it closed, and I turn on him. I’ve never laid a hand onmy best friend like that but I’m about two seconds away from changing that.

“Back off, man. I need to get out of here.”

He lifts his hands up in front of him. “All right. But you had to know she would move on eventually.”

I rub my hand through my hair, ready to pull it out. I can’t wrap my head around what I’m feeling. I’m angry. I’m embarrassed. I fucking hate myself. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sick.

“I know. Fuck. I know that, Luke. But I’m spiraling, man. I thought I was okay with my life. I got drafted. I make enough money to take care of my sister and grandparents. That should be enough. You know I let Avery go so she could conquer the world. She’s doing exactly that. But why do I feel so fucking empty?” I pound on my chest at the spot that Avery still owns.

Luke walks closer to me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “You know I love you. Your grandparents and sister love you. You have people who love you.”

I shake my head and scoff. “Then why doesn’t that feel like enough?”

He tilts his head and gives my shoulders a squeeze. “Maybe you should talk to someone, man. I don’t know. But you have to find a way to move on. It’s been eight years and you still haven’t. It’s time, man.”

I close my eyes and try like hell to push the emotion down. He’s right. I can’t keep living like this. I nod my head and open my eyes. I throw my arms around Luke and pat his back a few times. Turning so he can’t see the tears that have started to fall, I open my door.

“I love you, man. But I can’t be here. You get that right?” I look over my shoulder and watch Luke as he walks a few steps away from my car.

“I do. I’ll tell everyone something came up. I got your back. Text me when you get back safely?”

“Will do.”

I climb into my car and punch my address into my phone. As soon as I’m on the highway, I push the button on my steering wheel and instruct my system to call the captain on my team. Niko is a single dad and he’s easily one of the best people I know. He doesn’t know what I’ve been through, but he can see right through my bullshit. He’s constantly checking in on me and urging me to take care of my mental health. I’ve always brushed him off, claiming I was fine.

The phone rings a few times before he finally picks up. His daughter is screaming happily in the background so he’s basically yelling when he greets me.

“What’s up, Smith? I thought you were out of town this weekend?”

I don’t say anything at first. I’m trying to gather the courage to admit that I need help. The silence stretches between us and his daughter’s voice slowly begins to fade.

“Connor. You okay?’

I nod, like he can see me, and then force the words out of my mouth.

“I need help.”

There’s a little pep in my step as I walk into the arena for practice today. For the past three days I’ve been immersed in all things Avery. If we’re not at the rink, we’re together. It’s been fun going on dates with her, and I can’t wait to see her face when she sees what I have planned for tonight. Not only that, but we play against St. Louis tomorrow night, and I can’t wait to throw her ex-husband around on the ice. Life is good.