Page 87 of Defend Her Heart

“All right, let’s get started!” The man’s thick Italian accent breaks the spell, and I jump away from Connor. He laughs behind me, but I keep my eyes fixed on the instructor. Is that what he is? Chef? I don’t know. I can’t think right now.

Connor moves to his spot next to me, brushing his hand against my lower back on the way. I stare down at the counter now, at nothing, trying to remember how to exist in this room without completely combusting.

He reaches for the other apron and slides it on. I’m waiting for the man to tell us where to begin, but it’s Connor’s voice I hear next.

“Do you have a chair or stool for my wife? She can’t be on her feet too long.”

And any chance of keeping my cool vanishes. Because the thoughtfulness of this man next to me is just as sexy as his touch.

I’m officially falling in love with Connor Smith. Again.

TWO-AND-A-HALF YEARS AGO

Another year, another reunion with my best friends from high school. I look forward to this weekend all year, and not only because of the gorgeous lake house we stay in, or the days spent on the boat. It’s because ofher.

Avery Chamberlin. The one who got away. The oneIpushed away. But it was all worth it because now she’s playing professionally in the PWHL and is a top prospect for Team USA next Olympics. I may not get to celebrate those moments with her like we planned, but watching her live out her dream is a decent consolation prize. Knowing that I didn’t hold her back and she’s getting everything she ever wanted, is enough for me.

She may hold a place in my heart until I die, but I’m not out here believing she’d ever give me a second chance, even if I’d sacrifice my left nut for one. Now that I’m in the NHL, women aren’t hard to come by, and it’s not like I’m out here being celibate. I fuck women. But that’s about all I do. I gave up on finding the real thing after my last relationship, if you want to call it that, ended when I overheard thewoman on the phone telling someone that shecan’t wait to get knocked up so she’s set for life.

Yeah. That pretty much scarred me for life so I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m going to be alone. At least until I retire. My parents were fucking awful, so it’s probably best I don’t find someone anyway. Who knows if I’ll end up like my dad one day and decide I don’t want a family anymore. My genetics are so bad, it’s not worth finding out.

I’ve adapted to the lonely lifestyle and try to put all of my time and energy into hockey. It’s probably not healthy to avoid my past like this. So much trauma from my parents, letting Avery go, fighting my way through school with all my pent up anger…I’m sure a therapist would have a thing or two to say about all that.

But I’ll be fine. I’m a professional athlete, for fuck’s sake. Who am I to complain?

I enter the code to the lake house and as soon as the door swings open, I look for her. The main floor is empty and I don’t hear anything upstairs or downstairs. Setting my suitcase aside, I make my way to the sliding glass door that leads to a giant patio overlooking the lake. My god, it is beautiful here.

But not as beautiful as the woman standing on the dock in an emerald sundress. The sight of her steals my breath every single time. Her black hair falls down her back in loose waves, and I can’t help but stare as she walks down the platform to where the other girls are sitting, their feet dangling in the water.

I’m too far away to hear what any of them are saying but, it’s impossible to ignore their screams and squeals when Avery holds her hand out to them. The four girls that were sitting all launch themselves up to stand. One of them hugs Avery while the other three grab her hand and lift it toward their faces.

My eyes are locked on them, trying to figure out what the hell is going on, when I hear footsteps coming up the stairs to the patio. My best friend from high school, Luke, appears, andinstead of being happy to see me, his face is etched in concern.

I turn my head back to the girls on the dock and nod. “What’s that all about?”

He sidles up next to me and links his hands behind his head. “Avery’s engaged.”

It feels like someone literally swiped the rug from underneath my feet and I stumble backward. Luke presses his hand between my shoulder blades to steady to me and leaves it there as I try to comprehend what he just said to me.

I knew Avery was dating, but that was the extent of it. I never wanted to know more than that. Apparently, I missed a whole fucking lot. Avery is engaged. Avery is going to marry someone, and that someone isn’t me. I have no fucking right to even think that but it doesn’t stop the thoughts from coming.

Luke moves his hand up to my shoulder and squeezes. “You good?”

I shake my head once. He knows I’m not good. He’s the only one who knows the real reason I broke up with Avery all those years ago. It was never because I stopped loving her. It wasbecauseI loved her so much. What a fucking fool I was. I should’ve tried to make it work. I should’ve insisted we try long distance. I should’ve donesomething.

“There’s more.”

I tear my eyes away from the girls. I can’t stand to watch them celebrating, but I’m also wondering how the hell there can possibly be more.

“What the fuck do you mean there’s more?”

Luke rubs the back of his neck and grimaces. “He’s coming here for the weekend so we can all meet him.”

“Fuck that.” I shake my head. This can’t be happening. The one weekend out of the year where I get to pretend everything is okay. I get to spend time with my favorite personon the planet and see how happy she is, and validate my decisions all those years ago.

“I know. Are you going to be okay, man?”

I whip my head toward him and glare.