Page 73 of Defend Her Heart

Because what if I ask and I’m wrong? I don’t think I could handle that. So instead, I stay quiet.

The music never starts, and the screen dims in my hand.

I just sit here, staring out the window, trying to steady something inside of me that has suddenly come back to life. The part that has always belonged to him.

The silence in this truck is deafening. Every time I look over at Avery, I’m silently begging for her to say something, but she hasn’t looked away from her window in five minutes. My phone rests in her hand, untouched.

I didn’t even hesitate when I told her my passcode. It’s become ingrained in my brain after years of punching in the same numbers. I’m not sure why I didn’t think to tap it in myself, but when she asked, the numbers just fell off my tongue so easily, there was no stopping it.

We’re about three minutes away from Tamara’s place, and I’m desperate to change the mood in here. We can’t leave things like this. Not after all the progress we’ve made. There’s only one thing I can think to do.

We approach a red light, and once I’m fully stopped, I reach over and grab my phone from her hand. This move finally gains her attention. She turns her head slightly and I click on one of my playlists from high school.

“Chandelier” by Sia starts playing through my truck speakers. The light turns green, but I don’t miss the slightest crack of a smile on Avery’s lips before letting my foot off the brake. She still doesn’t say a word, butwhen the chorus approaches, and I belt out the words and attempt to hit the high note, I hear her laugh. Finally.

She joins in, and we spend the rest of our drive singing—horribly, but still singing—a song from one of my favorite memories. Luckily it’s late and doesn’t take long for me to find a parking spot on the street. I put the car in Park and turn toward her.

“Man, that song brings back some memories.”

Avery grabs her bag from the floor and puts it in her lap. She looks my way and she’s wearing that dimpled smile I love so much. “God, do you remember how drunk Luke was at that party?”

We didn’t drink much in high school, but we were still kids. We did some dumb shit sometimes. It was after we won Nationals my senior year, we were all celebrating at one of my teammates’ houses who lived off campus.

“I can’t believe he convinced us to stand on that table and sing that song with him.” I shake my head at the thought.

We’re both chuckling now, remembering a time that wasn’t so complicated. Honestly, whatever is going on between us, fake marriage or not, it doesn’t feel complicated to me. I know it’s not the same for her. She just got out of a horrible marriage and is trying to get her life back on track. But I can’t help but want to be a part of that life. And I don’t want it to be fake either.

Before I left for Sweden, when we were at my apartment, it was different. It wasn’t messy or full of the animosity we’ve been holding onto. It was familiar. It waseasy. I know she felt it, too. At one point during the movie, she even leaned her shoulder into mine, and I was so close to wrapping my arm around her.

Hell, maybe this is a little complicated. If it were any other woman, I would have pulled her into me. But if life is giving me a second chance with Avery, I need to do this right. Which means, I’m eventually going to have to tell her the truth aboutwhat happened two years ago. I can’t hide the real reason I cut her and everyone off if I want to build something real here. I just don’t know how to tell her.

“Thanks for the ride.” Avery reaches for the handle of her door but hesitates.

It’s the opening I need to make this night last a little longer.

“Do you want to go for a drive with me?”

There’s a spot on the outskirts of town I discovered that has little to no light pollution. It’s the perfect spot to look at the stars.

“Rain check? It’s been a long day.”

Disappointment settles heavy in my gut, but I push it away. Now is not the time to be selfish. If she’s had a long day, I can be patient.

I’ve waited ten years, what’s another few days?

“Right. Of course. Let me walk you to your door.”

“Connor, you don’t have to?—”

I turn in my seat, glaring at her like I do my opponents on the ice. She slams her mouth shut, and I take that as my cue. Rounding the front of the truck, I reach her door just as she’s opening it. When I offer my hand, she doesn’t hesitate. It might go unnoticed by others, but I don’t miss it. Her hand finds mine on instinct and it fits there just like it always has. Snug and perfect.

When she steps down out of my truck, I keep my fingers laced with hers and walk her to the entrance of her apartment building. There’s no concierge or anyone to greet us when we walk in, and I scan the lobby to get a feel for the place. It’s a nice place but I don’t like the lack of security. Anyone can just walk in here and no one would blink an eye.

“Stop.”

Avery’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.

“Stop what?”