Page 70 of Defend Her Heart

I pop a piece of shrimp in my mouth and chew on it while I try to come up with something to say. I know she’s teasing me so once I swallow and take a sip of water, I lean onto the table.

“Well, you’re scowling at your screen. It’s going to give you wrinkles. That’s not cute.”

She finally looks up from her computer, and I can tell she’s holding something back. Pushing up from the table, I slide into the empty seat next to hers. Slowly, I shut her laptop.

“Whyare you scowling like that?”

Tamara slumps back into her chair. “That tennis player I wanted to sign went with someone else.”

“Damn, I’m sorry, T. Anyone else you can scoop up? I know you were really hoping to add to your clientele.”

Her head is tilted back and she’s staring at the ceiling. At first she doesn’t respond, and after a minute, I don’t think she’sgoing to at all. But after an exhale, she sits up straight and turns in her seat to face me.

“Actually, there’s a few athletes I’ve had my eye on.” Her voice doesn’t match what she’s saying. She should be excited at the prospect, but for some reason, her tone is not enthusiastic at all.

“Why the doom and gloom then?” I gesture with my hand to where she’s sitting.

Tamara grabs her laptop, opening it and turning the screen so I can see what she’s been working on. “They’re all overseas.”

I’m still not comprehending. “And…”

“I can’t just leave you here and fly across the world. You’re going through some shit. I don’t want you to be here alone.”

There it is. This is exactly why I didn’t want to stay here for free. She should not be worrying about me. I am not her responsibility. Does it suck that I’d be alone? Yeah. Am I afraid I might pass out while she’s gone? Maybe. But she can’t hold herself back because of me.

“Tamara. Book your damn flight. I’m a grown-ass woman who can take care of herself.” She shoots me a look that says she’s less than convinced so I push on. “Sadie said her old apartment at Niko’s is empty, I can ask to stay there.”

She crosses her arms and nods to my phone that’s sitting at the other end of the table. “Well, ask her then. I know I’m not your mother, but I do care about you and I don’t think you should be staying here alone right now. Not after you just got your diagnosis and are still trying to find your new normal. I wouldn’t feel right leaving you alone. You’re family. I need to know you’ll be taken care of while I’m gone.”

As annoyed as I am, her thoughtfulness tugs at something inside of me. I reach across the table to get my phone and shoot off a text to Sadie, hoping for a quick response. Less than a minute later my phone buzzes.

Sadie

Ugh! If it was sometime next month, I’d tell you to come and move in. But Niko’s family is flying in from Finland tomorrow for a couple weeks. They asked if they could stay in the apartment. You could always crash in one of the guest bedrooms!

“Damn.”

Tamara leans forward, resting her arms on the table. “I take it that’s not good news.”

I type out a quick response telling Sadie I’ll let her know then lean on the table, resting my chin on my hand.

“Niko’s family is visiting from Finland. She said I could crash in one of the guest bedrooms. I really don’t feel like imposing when his family is flying in to see him, though.”

My phone vibrates on the table again and I pick it up, anticipating a text from Sadie. My eyes light up when I see it’s a text from Connor instead.

Connor

Breakfast will be waiting for you in the morning too. Sweet dreams, Aves.

My stupid, stupid heart does somersaults as I reread his text again.

“Or you could ask the handsome hockey player if you can stay with him. I’ll wait till he’s back in town and you can ask him then. He’s already taking care of you and showing up at all your appointments. It would make it a little easier on you both if you just stayed there, don’t you think?”

She’s not wrong. I have a couple appointments booked with a physical therapist this month, and Connor already mentioned he’d like to come if I was okay with it. He’s been the greatest support system, and after coming out of a relationship where I had zero support, I’ve been leaning on him and not feeling guilty about it. Plus, I really don’t want to staywith Sadie and Niko. They’re in a little love bubble and with his family coming, I’d feel out of place there.

When I look up at Tamara, she’s eagerly waiting for a response.

The idea of staying with Connor in the dream home we designed together makes my stomach roll with anxiety. Do I really think it’s a good idea? I still haven’t even fully come to terms with the fact that he literally brought the home we designed together to life. How did he remember every single detail all these years later? Better yet,whywould he build it at all when we weren’t even together anymore, let alone even speaking?