Page 7 of Defend Her Heart

“Ow, shit. That burns. Mack gives a whole new meaning to the word ‘weird’ when it comes to goalies. But damn, he is funny.”

After introducing myself to the women I’ll be working with this season, we fell into easy conversation about the guys on the team. It seems that the goalie—Mack, as they call him—is one of the goofiest people they’ve ever met. And from what I know about goalies, that absolutely tracks.

Even though I’ve just met them, I somehow feel completely welcome and a part of their girl gang already. Katie, who I’ve learned is Lincoln’s cousin and fairly new to the team as well, turns my way once the laughter subsides a bit.

“Tell us about yourself, Avery.”

What a loaded statement. I fear that if I start talking about myself, I’ll reveal too much and scare them all away. I take a sip of my drink and try to come up with a safe answer. As I’m sipping, I realize I’m feeling much less lightheaded than I was when I saw Connor.

Connor.

It wasn’t a surprise seeing him here. I knew he was on the team when I took the job, and it was something I told myself I’d be okay with. I was not going to let another man dictate my life again.

I thought I was prepared to see him, but I was so wrong. It doesn’t matter that I knew he might be here, I was still completely taken aback, especially by the look on his face when he sawme. He was looking at me like he used to do when we were teenagers. Like there was no one else around but me. Which, quite frankly, doesn’t make any damn sense. He randomly cut me and all our mutual friends off twoyears ago. That was also around the time I got engaged to Bryan.

Now that I’m thinking about it, that might not have been a coincidence. Except that doesn’t make any sense either. Connor broke up withme.And then continued on with life like he didn’t completely rip my heart out of my chest and break it into a million pieces.

Maybe taking this job wasn’t the best idea after all.

“Avery?”

Katie’s voice breaks through my spiraling thoughts, bringing me back to the present. Shaking my head, I fake a laugh, pretending I wasn’t just analyzing my life choices at a team barbecue.

“Sorry, I got lost in thought for a second.”

The girls all wear warm smiles as they patiently wait for me to tell them a little bit about myself.

“There’s not much to tell. I played college hockey in Wisconsin, and when I graduated, I was drafted by the Minnesota Freeze before taking a job with them as their play-by-play announcer. Then, when I got engaged, I moved to St. Louis and got a job with the Archers because that’s where my ex plays.”

I’ve already said too much. Pitying eyes meet mine as I take another sip of my drink, attempting to signal the end of that conversation.

“Were you the play-by-play announcer there, too? Sorry, I don’t keep up with many other teams.”

It’s an innocent question and I know Sloane has absolutely no idea the effect it’s about to have on me. A sinking feeling settles low in my gut and my pulse begins to quicken as horrible memories begin flashing through my mind.

You’re fine. It’s all in your head. There’s nothing wrong. It’s just your anxiety. Even the doctors don’t believe you. I knew you were just with me for my money.

The feel of a hand on my forearm steadies me. Taking acalming breath, I turn to see Sadie, concern clear on her face just like it was earlier when I nearly fainted.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I try to force words out. “No. I worked as an assistant to the media team there.”

My pulse is still racing as all four women stare at me. There’s no judgment in their eyes, only concern. Apparently I’m doing a shit job of hiding the mental breakdown I’m about to have.

What a great first impression, Avery.

“I’m going to take Avery inside for a minute. We’ll be back.” Sadie’s voice is chipper, showing no signs that anything’s off. Luckily, the women all nod and turn toward each other, not making a big deal out of our abrupt exit.

Sadie loops her arm through mine, placing her opposite hand on my forearm. She begins rubbing soothing circles with her fingers, and I’ve never been so grateful for someone’s kindness before. She doesn’t even know me, and yet she was able to read the situation within seconds and came to my rescue.

Once we’re inside the house, the cool air washes over me and I continue my deep breathing. She leads me to the study just off the entrance of the house. Dark green walls surround the room, a floor to ceiling bookcase covering the largest wall behind a beautiful desk.

Sadie settles me onto a leather chair in the corner near the wall of books and kneels down in front of me.

“Is everything okay, Avery? I know we just met so you don’t have to tell me anything, but I’m a great listener. And I’m a vault. So, if you need me, I’m here.”

She reaches her hand out and gives mine a squeeze, her eyes never leave my face. I’m not sure what it is about this woman, but there’s something about her that puts me at ease. It’s like the air around her has a calming effect, and it steadies me in a way I’m not familiar with. Before I can overthink it, the words are already sitting at the tip of my tongue.

But, I hesitate…because saying it out loud makes it real. Because I’m not sure what she’ll think of me after. Because part of me still feels so stupid for not seeing it sooner.