Page 55 of Defend Her Heart

I want to tell him I’ve been ready for years. That even though life led us along different paths, part of me was always hoping we would find our way back to each other. That even though this isn’t real, I kind of wish it was. But instead, I smile and say only three words.

“Let’s do this.”

Connor stands first but doesn’t let go of my hand. I follow him to the front of the room, gripping his fingers like a lifeline. When we stop in front of the judge, he stands and presents us with some paperwork. We listen as he goes through the procedure on how this will work and explains the legal commitment being made today.

“Will we be exchanging the standard vows or have you two written your own to share today?”

I stand dumbstruck. For some reason, I didn’t think we’d have a real ceremony like this. I thought we’d come in, sign the papers, and be on our way. I open my mouth to ask if we can skip this part when I see Connor move from the corner of my eye.

“Actually, I have something I’d like to say.”

My body moves on its own accord. I turn to face Connor, my eyes assessing the man who never ceases to take me by surprise. He takes my other hand with his, holding both of mine now between us.

“I know we didn’t plan on writing any vows and you probably don’t have anything prepared.” I raise my eyebrow, because no shit I don’t have anything prepared. Connorchuckles at my expression and the sound soothes me. “But I can’t let this day go by without telling you something.”

Connor takes a step closer to me and reaches up to cup my face. His thumb starts moving in slow circles, his eyes locked on mine unblinking.

“Eleven years, and not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you in some way, Avery Chamberlin. You were destined for things that were so much greater than me. But life is funny, isn’t it? It brought you back to me, and I’m the luckiest guy on the planet to be here with you today. And I want to make you one promise. Here and now.” He leans forward and presses his forehead against mine. In a voice so quiet that only I can hear, he says, “I will stop at nothing to get you the answers you’ve been looking for. I will tear this world apart to get them if it means you’ll find happiness again.”

We stay like that, foreheads together, his hand on my cheek, until the judge asks another question.

“Did you bring any rings with you today?”

I’m mid-shake of my head when Connor surprises me for the second time during this ceremony. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a big gold ring.

“I know we didn’t have time to pick out your dream ring”—he winks at me—“but I thought this would do.” He slides the ring he was given in high school for winning the national championship. It’s the same one he gave to me a lifetime ago when he promised we’d have a future together.

Memories of the promises we made to each other back then flash through my mind. This ring represented so much for us. A promise. A future. A life together. Then another memory hits, and a swell of emotion claws its way up my throat. I’m back in front of my dorm, the day he broke my heart and I shoved the ring so hard into his chest, I’m sure it left a mark.

I hesitate for a beat, unsure if I can handle doing this. But then I look up at Connor, his bright eyes easing the anxietyand allowing me to think clearly. Therapy has taught me that we must learn from our past if we don’t want to repeat it. Instead of feeling sad about the future we could’ve had, I feel hopeful, knowing he’s here with me again, determined to help me get the answers I’ve been desperate for.

Connor holds my hand to help keep the ring in place. It’s too big, sliding around on my finger with the weight, but somehow it fits better than my old, real one ever did. Connor’s other hand returns to my cheek, and I look up from the ring to him, my watery eyes finding his.

The judge continues the ceremony, but I barely hear a word. I’m lost in Connor’s gaze as we stare at each other through the rest of it. Standing here with him, I feel myself being pulled back into the nostalgia of it all.

This is just a marriage of convenience. This isn’t real.

I’m busy reminding myself of that when I hear Connor say, “I do.” I don’t even realize I’ve said it back until the judge takes a step back.

“You may kiss your bride.”

His words finally break us apart, but I don’t get far. The hand that was cupping my cheek is now wrapped around the back of my neck. I let go of Connor’s hand I was holding and grab the front of his shirt.

I have no idea what’s happening to me. I’m entering dangerous territory, but I can’t seem to stop myself. The next thing I know, I’m sucking in a breath and bracing myself for impact.

Connor’s lips press against mine in the softest, most tender kiss of my life. There’s no tongue, there’s no desperation. It’s simple. And it’s perfect. We stay connected like this for many seconds until he finally pulls away. My eyes are still closed, his hand still on my neck.

When I finally gain the strength to open them, he’s smiling.

Neither of us say a word as we look into each other’s eyes.A smile of my own matches his before we both break out into laughter. I’m aware of the judge next to us, who is probably looking at us like we’ve lost our minds.

Because we have a little bit, haven’t we?

The judge tells us we need to sign the marriage license, and I look away from Connor for a split second to sign my name. Connor does the same, and then we’re back to staring at each other like fools.

“You ready to go, wife?” Connor asks, cocking a brow.

“I was born ready.”