Page 28 of Defend Her Heart

I say goodbye to Tamara, reassuring her I’m okay to find an Uber so she can get to work. She already stayed here with me most of the morning and missed half of her day. I saw her phone blowing up while I was being discharged, so I know she has to go.

Once I’m dressed, I make my way to the billing department so I can figure out how much all of this will cost me. What are the chances I won’t have to sell plasma to afford all the tests?

Not good, apparently.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but the best I can do for you is offer you a payment plan if you don’t have insurance right now.”

My heart stutters in my chest and it’s not the usual kind I’ve become accustomed to. No, my heart rate picks up from the realization of how much all of this will cost me. The fear and uncertainty ofhowI’m going to pay for this threatens to knock me off my feet again. The estimated cost of the tests I still need to determine if I have POTS, combined with the costs of the tests they already did today, is way more than I can afford right now.

Because I mentioned my heart racing before passing out, then proceeded to hit my head on the coffee table, they needed to do an EKG and head CT today. I was referred to a cardiologist where they’ll perform the additional tests I’ll need for a diagnosis.

How the hell am I going to afford any of this?

I fight back tears for what feels like the millionth time today. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I fold the paperwork and give a half-assed attempt at a smile.

“I’ll have to figure something out before scheduling my tests with the cardiologist. Thank you for your help.”

I don’t wait for a response. I turn and leave the room without a second thought. Picking up the pace, I search for the signs that will show me to the main exit.

Once I see my way out, I break into a jog, hoping like hell I’ll make it out of here before someone sees me breaking down for the second time today.

“Connor, where’s your focus today? Do another set. And this time, keep your core engaged. You want to get back to one hundred percent? Prove to me you can do a simple rehab exercise.”

I groan. I love Doc but he’s acting like the Copenhagen plank lift is just some easy core exercise, when really, it could probably be used as a torture technique to get information out of someone. I mean, if you were into that sort of thing.

I’ve been working with Dr. Alvarez since last season when I initially pulled my groin. He’s only about ten years older than me so he’s really easy to relate to. He’s tall like me, probably standing at six foot three, and he cares about us players like we’re family. It’s why I trust him, even when he’s torturing me like this.

This exercise is even more impossible when I can’t seem to think of anything other than Avery. Doc is right, my focus is shit today.

“Sorry, Doc. I’ll do better this time.”

I turn and get into a side plank position. But unlike a typical side plank, this torturous exercise requires your feet to be elevated, instead of on the ground. I raise my top leg andrest it on the workout bench I’ve been using. Gritting my teeth, I lift my hip off the ground and position my lower leg under the bench. I repeat this motion, lowering my hip to the ground and then back up again.

“Eleven, Twelve.” I fall to the ground after my last lift, embarrassed at how out of breath I am. Lying flat on my back, I throw my arm over my eyes. “Please don’t make me do more, Doc. I’ll do anything else.”

A towel slaps me in the chest. Moving my arm, I look up to see Doc holding his arm out to me.

“Let’s get you up, ya big baby.”

I grab his hand and use it to pull myself up off the ground.

“Baby? Why don’t you get down there and do four sets of those and then we’ll see who’s the baby?”

Doc throws his head back and cackles. Once he’s done laughing at me, he pats me twice on the chest. “I may be ten years older than you, but I could out-plank your ass any day.” He tosses me my water bottle then leans back on the counter behind him. “You wanna tell me what’s on your mind? Because it was anywhere but here today.”

I squirt some water in my mouth, trying to buy some time to figure out what I should say to him. Doc is the team’s physical therapist so he knows who Avery is. But I’d rather not let him in on my personal business.

“Just having an off day, I guess.”

He shakes his head at me. “Bullshit. Word on the street is our new play-by-play announcer has you all discombobulated.”

Motherfucker.

I bet it was Mack or Jefferson running their mouths to anyone who would listen. I love juicy gossip just as much as the next person, but this is none of their goddamn business. How the hell would they even know? They only saw us together once.

“Calm down, Smith. You look like you’re ready to drop the gloves.”

Wiping the sweat off my forehead, I scoff. “Can you blame me? There’s nothing going on between me and Avery. And the last thing she needs is people running their mouths and assuming there is. Women in the hockey world already get enough shit talked about them. I don’t need my own teammates adding to that.”