Page 105 of Defend Her Heart

I go deathly still.

“How did you know there were daisies at my wedding?”

TWO YEARS AGO

I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing here. Leaning over my center console, I stare at the gigantic, beautiful church where Avery is supposed to be getting married today. The railings that lead up the stairs are covered in an obscene amount of flowers which makes me scoff.

Avery doesn’t even like daisies.

Checking my watch, I see the ceremony is set to begin in fifteen minutes. How do I know this information if I wasn’t invited to the wedding, you ask? Well, Avery’s douchebag of a fiancé announced it to the world on his social media. My sister, Charlie, sent me a screenshot, asking me if I had seen it.

Of course I didn’t see it. I stopped looking at Avery’s and Bryan’s social media a long time ago. After finding out they got engaged, Niko recommended his therapist to me. I called him that day and have been seeing him ever since.

With how much baggage I’ve been carrying since my parents left, I started off meeting with him once a week. Over time, with his help, I was able to workthrough a lot of the anger and resentment that was holding me back. Eventually, I brought up Avery.

Dr. Rodgers made me see that I’m still in love with the first girl I ever loved. It wasn’t that big of a revelation, but I had refused to admit it ever since I broke her heart all those years ago. Now, here I am, sitting outside the church where she’s supposed to walk down the aisle any minute to marry a different man.

I came here to tell her I’m still in love with her.

But for some reason, I can’t get out of the car. My knee is bouncing and my heart is racing as I contemplate what the fuck to do. I always told myself I let her go so she could live her dreams, and isn’t that what she’s doing? But, fuck. It’s supposed to be me standing at the altar, not fuckface Bryan.

Reaching for my phone, I click on my therapist’s number. It rings two times before he picks up. I don’t wait for a greeting; the words rush out of me.

“I’m about to barge into the church and tell Avery I’m still in love with her.” My eyes follow a small group of people that walk into the church from a limousine. It’s all of her high school girlfriends and they’re wearing ridiculous yellow bridesmaid dresses.

“Okay, Connor. Take a couple deep breaths for me, and let’s try starting over.”

I do as he says, and this time when I go to talk, the words don’t fall out of me in a rush.

“You made me realize I’m still in love with Avery. But she’s getting married today and I’m parked outside the church right now. She needs to know how I feel.”

A moment passes before Dr. Rodgers responds.

“Does she need to know how you feel? Or are you telling her because that’s whatyouneed to do?”

God, sometimes I hate this fucking psychoanalysis bullshit. Mostly because he asks me questions I don’t want to admit the answers to.

“I don’t know. Both?”

He doesn’t say a word and the silence stretches between us.

“Fine!Ineed to tell her.”

Dr. Rodgers hums. “Okay, and would telling Avery how you feel benefit her in any way? Because you just told me she’s about to walk down the aisle, Connor. It sounds to me like she already said yes to somebody else, and you’re mad at yourself because it’s not you.”

“Of course I’m fucking mad! This wasourdream! And now she’s about to live it with someone else!” My voice cracks the louder I raise it. I use my thumb and forefinger to squeeze my eyes shut, trying like hell not to cry right now.

“Connor. Do you really think running in there and telling her how you feel is the right choice?”

I know the answer but I can’t say it out loud. I can’t admit that it’s too late. How could I let this happen?

I open my mouth to tell him no, when another limousine pulls up. My heart picks up speed because I know who’s in there. I canfeelher.

The moment she steps out onto the sidewalk, my heart does a nosedive into my stomach. Avery looks fucking beautiful. She’s dressed in a gorgeous satin gown that hugs her curves just right. Her hair is pulled up but there’s a few strands that hang loose that blow in the breeze. The only thing that looks out of place is the hideous veil that hides her flawless face and falls down behind her, dragging on the ground.

“She always told me she never wanted a veil.”

I don’t realize I’ve said it out loud until I hear Dr. Rodgers’ voice. “I know you’ll make the right decision, Connor. I’ll see you Tuesday.”