Page 93 of Louder Than Words
No. No, no, no.
My eyes snap to Jax. He’s already watching me. Already standing.
Before I even know what I’m doing, I push to my feet—too fast.
“Allie?” Jax’s voice cuts through the courtroom. “ALLIE?”
That’s when everything goes black.
37
Allie
Bright fluorescent lights burn through my eyelids before I can even open them.
Then comes the stinging smell of antiseptic, so strong it nearly singes my nostrils.
And finally, the unmistakable rhythmic beeping of machines beside me.
I stay frozen, my body sinking deeper into the plastic mattress like it’s trying to swallow me whole.
I’ve been here before.
The cold, metallic taste of blood on my tongue.
Death so close it practically kissed my cheek.
Nora’s desperate screams somewhere in the distance.
It all slams into me at once.
My fingers dig into the mattress. The beeping beside me goes frantic. I try to call for help, but nothing comes out—just a strangled breath caught in my throat.
“Al?” Jax says from beside me, but I can’t move to look at him.
His hand finds my shoulder, and as much as I want to say it grounds me, it doesn’t. Not fully, anyway.
Hot tears slip down my temples as the mattress shifts beside me. Then Jax is there, leaning over me, smoothing the hair from my face while he shushes me so softly I can barely hear it.
“You’re alright, love,” he murmurs in my ear. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”
“W-what happened?” I stammer, eyes darting around the room.
He tilts his head, but before he can answer, there’s a soft knock at the door, and in walks one of my favorite people.
Dr. Lavoie.
The same woman who delivered both of my girls. Arguably the best OB/GYN in the state of New Hampshire—
But why is she here?
She pulls the chair up beside the bed and sinks into it, her head tilted slightly as she studies me for a moment.
Her eyes swim with something I swear is remorse before she says softly, “Oh, Allie.”
And that’s it. That’s all it takes.
Every tear my body can hold rushes out, full force, without warning.
