Page 24 of Louder Than Words

“You okay, Al?” Jax asks, concern lacing his tone.

Before I even realize it, my heels click against the tile as my body moves on autopilot toward the nearest door, away from him. My eyes land on the perfect place, a balcony that thankfully seems empty.

“Al!” Jax calls from behind me, but I don’t stop.

I burst through the double doors, immediately feeling the chill of the October air whip along my shoulders. Goosebumps explode down my arms as I race to the banister, lean against it, and try to catch my breath.

Tears prick my eyes before I even notice. My palms flatten against the cobblestone railing as I brace myself. The feeling of betrayal swallows me whole as I overlook the city.

Then warm hands appear on my shoulders, and as nice as they feel, I don’t want them right now.

He goes to turn me, but I spin around faster.

“What’s—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, tears already spilling down my cheeks.

He stammers, his eyes darting across my face. “Tell youwhat?”

I tilt my head and jab my finger toward the party still going on inside. “That’soursong, Jax. You didn’t tell me it was going on the record for the whole world to have.”

His expression falters. “I… I wanted it to be a surprise. I didn’t think—”

“You didn’t ask!” I snap, my voice cracking on the last word. “That song was private. Just… ours. And now… now the whole world will have it.”

He flinches, like he’s just put two and two together. He pauses, and I can see the gears turning in his head as the guilt slowly creeps in. “I—Allie, I didn’t mean…” He steps closer, hesitating. Then, carefully, he cups my face in his hands. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I should’ve asked. I should’ve run it by you first.”

I pull back slightly, searching his crystal-blue eyes. “I love that you want to share your love with the world. And just because I’m upset right now doesn’t mean I’m not proud of you. I just… wish I knew,” I say with a shrug.

He wraps his arms around me, and I’m pulled into the warmth of him, finally letting myself lean in. My shoulders loosen just a little—not completely, but enough to feel a fraction of relief.

“We can leave if you want,” he offers softly. I can tell he really doesn’t want to leave now, but I know if I said yes, he wouldn’t hesitate to haul me out of here. And as upset as I am, there’s no way I’m ruining what’s supposed to be one of the biggest nights of his life.

I force a small smile and shake my head. “No. Not right now.” I grab his hand, covering it with mine when I feel it already turning cold. “Right now, I want to celebrate with my favorite band.”

“You mean Dead Last?” he asks with a raised brow.

I playfully swat his shoulder. “You don’t get to crack jokes yet,” I tease, then lay my head against his chest.

I take a shaky breath, still not totally sure how I feel. But his arms are wrapped tight around me, and for now, that’s enough. The sting’s still there, of course. But so is he.

And maybe the song belongs to the world now… but this part? This moment out here in the cold, with his arms around mine? This belongs only to us.

12

Jax

Stupid.

Bloody fucking stupid.

Actually, scratch that. Calling it stupid implies I’d put some actual thought into any of this. Clearly, I didn’t.

Why the hell did I think surprising her with the song would somehow balance out how messy everything else has been?

The album—God, the record really wasn’t supposed to be some secret. I wanted to tell her in person, but with everything going on, it just slipped my mind. Fires were needing to constantly be put out left and right, and somehow the one thing I should have remembered—the one thing that I knew mattered to her—got lost in all the noise.

Deep down I knew that song wasn’t ever just a song. Not for me, and definitely not for her. I should’ve thought about what it would feel like from her side to hear it like that, in public,without so much as a warning. But no. I convinced myself it would be sweet. Thoughtful, even. And then we ran into Alex and—poof—every coherent thought vanished. It didn’t even register that the hotel was blasting our songs through the loudspeakers.