Page 101 of Louder Than Words

“No!” she snaps, shaking her head. “Allie, I know you’re hurting, okay? I get it. But telling Jax to leave? Are you absolutelykiddingme?”

I pull my lip between my teeth, biting down gently to keep from crying. “I know how it sounds—”

“Yeah. It sounds like a bitch move.”

I stare at her, my mouth dropping open, for thesecondtime during this conversation. But really, what can I even say to that?

She’s not entirely wrong.

“What else was I supposed to do, Ana?” I shoot back. “I could tell he was falling apart just watching me.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Allie. Maybe let him fall apartwith you?” she says, voice rising. “You found a man who actuallycares. He’s not Trevor. Hewantsto help you. He wants totake careof you. And you just toss him out?”

“I didnottoss him out,” I snap, my eyes locking with hers.

She stands there, arms still crossed, her eyes pinned on me like she’s trying to figure out what’s going on in my head.

Newsflash to Ana: there’s nothing to figure out.

“I’ll call your mom,” she says flatly. “If you don’t get up right now, I’ll call her and have her come here instead.”

My eyes narrow. “You. Wouldn’t.Dare.”

She shrugs smugly. “Try me.”

Then, without another word, she spins on her heel and walks out of the room—leaving my blankets and pillows in a sad little heap on the floor.

I think about picking them up and crawling right back into bed. But then I remember that would mean dealing with my mother.

So, I get up.

For the first time in almost a week.

Completely against my will.

“That’s better,” Ana says the second I walk back into the living room—for thesecondtime today.

Why do I say the second time today? Well, the first time she shooed me away and told me I smelled like a foot, insisting I take a shower before even thinking about rejoining the living.

Joke’s on her—I didn’t want to rejoin the living yet.

I only did it to avoid my mother paying me a visit.

I give her a tight-lipped smile anyway, then drop onto the couch, tucking my feet under me and grabbing the throw blanket. I quickly drape it over myself before Ana can try to steal it. Because if I can’t have my duvet, you better believe I’m at least having this blanket.

She tilts her head, giving me that look like I’m a wounded baby deer that needs saving.

Which isexactlywhy Jax isn’t here. And why I’ve been hiding in my room.

I’m so tired of people looking at me like I’m something to fix.

“How can I help, Allie?” she asks softly.

I shrug. “You can start by not looking at me like I’m falling apart in front of you. Like I’m broken and need fixing.” My eyes drop to the fringe of the blanket, fingers picking at it until a thread starts to come loose.

“I’m not trying to look at you like that,” she says. “I just… I don’t know what to say—”

My gaze snaps to hers. “Then don’t say anything, Ana. Why can’t anyone just let megrieve?”