Page 39 of Don't Think

What the hell am I even supposed to ask? I’m definitely not asking her about her one-night stands if that’s how this game is supposed to go.

My hand grips the back of my neck nervously before my eyes land on Allie beside me. She must notice how frazzled I look right now because she gives me a friendly smile, and my hand automatically relaxes and falls back to my lap.

“What is your favorite hobby, Allie?” I ask quietly, unsure if anyone even heard me with how low it came out.

“Reading,” she says gently.

Somehow, that doesn’t shock me in the least bit. I can picture her in front of a fireplace, legs dangling off the side of an armchair with a book in her lap.

She takes a sip from her water bottle and slowly twists the cap back on. “Where did you grow up, Jax?”

“Cardiff.”

Okay, this isn’t so bad. I could answer these types of questions no problem.

“Alright you pansies. My turn,” Gareth states, leaning forward on his knees as his eyes pin Allie like she’s about to get an interrogation. “Tell us, Allie. What’s a questionable thing you like during sex?”

Her cheeks instantly turn pink while she stammers. She looks at everyone in the room before leaning over to grab a shot and downs it easily.

“Oh, come on. We’re all friends here.” Ana chuckles before nudging her with her elbow. “By the way, did you ever tell your life insurance that you like to be choked?”

James sputters into his cup from laughing, causing the droplets to splatter across the table.

If I thought she was blushing before, she’s full-on crimson now. I’m trying my hardest not to laugh, but with James howling right beside me it’s easier said than done.

Although, I never pegged her for a necklace lover.

I toss James a tissue from the table and grab another to clean up my now-wet knee. My nose wrinkles as I wipe it clean, giving him daggers.

Nora clears her throat from across the table, her eyes fixed on me with her eyebrow raised slightly. “Jax,” she says, her voice dripping with something mixed between curiosity and hesitance. “What ended your last relationship?”

A chill runs down my spine, and my body freezes. My eyes land on Gareth, and I watch his smile quickly fall before he closes his eyes and sighs.

I grab for a shot, downing the entire thing in one swallow. The alcohol slides down my throat, burning the whole way before it lands in the pit of my stomach.

Keeping my eyes on my lap while everyone around us goes quiet, I lean back against the sofa. All I can hear is Gareth scratching at his chin and James clearing his throat. They bothknownot to bring up Emelia, but I can’t blame Nora for not knowing.

Still, the question rattles me. It’s sending my mind spiraling back to the images I’ve spent an entireyeartrying to erase. The bedroom door slightly ajar, a men’s bike jacket draped acrossmyoffice chair, and the insurmountable shock of finding her in bed with someone else the day I came back from tour.

What a way to welcome me home.

I’m trying not to show how bothered I am, but I’m clearly doing a shit job of it since Allie is staring up at me like she’s about to throw her arms around me. As if she can see right through the mask I’m trying to slip back on.

I offer her a tight, forced smile, wanting to tell her it’s fine, but the words won’t come out. I can barely lift the corner of my mouth for a smile, never mind spewing out two words.

God, I need air. I don’t want to be the reason the night is suddenly ruined, but how can I slip away without anyone putting two and two together? Or without seeming rude.

I try to shove it down enough not to feel it, although it’s proving to be impossible. Then, I slowly force my gaze to Ana.

Fake it ‘til you make it, right?

“Who is your idol?” I ask, trying to keep my voice even.

She tilts her head, thinking for a moment before answering, “Selena. Definitely Selena.”

“Gomez?” Gareth blurts, his brow raised with his drink halfway to his mouth.

Allie and Nora both slowly turn their heads toward him, eyes wide with their jaws dropped to the floor.