Page 33 of Don't Think

“Exactly what Ana said! A list of things we need, like gaining confidence in ourselves. Our wants, like accepting the things we can’t control. And then, of course,”—she pauses to shimmy her shoulders—“desires.”

Ana sticks her hand out quickly. “Before you let that go to your head, I didn’t mean it sexually.”

I chuckle. “No, of course not,” I say, wrinkling my nose. “You mean desires as in what makes us…us. I think that’s a great idea, Nora.” I pause, glancing between Ana and Nora. “But wait… how do we evenstartsomething like that? What if we don’t know what it is we want?”

Nora shrugs. “Well, a month is plenty of time to figure it out. That’s what this whole time is for anyway.”

Ana’s feet leave the coffee table and drop back onto the ground. “It’s about creating space to want things. Right now, the three of us are just… existing. Taking what the world hands us and just saying ‘Oh, alright.’ We just take it.”

I nod. “I like this plan.”

Except where the hell do I even start on something like that? I’m supposed to find my confidence, my peace, and figure out what exactly my desires are—all in a matter of amonth? Some people go their whole lives without figuring that out, but I have to pull it out of thin air.

Baby steps, Allie. It’s all about the journey to the end goals. We’ll get there… right?

Chapter Ten

Jax

What the hell am I thinking?

Heading to a very possibly married woman’s house to hang out with a group of women we don’t even know.

Yeah, stellar decision-making on my part.

Then again, this is more James’s fault than anything. He’s basically a golden retriever in human form and starts drooling the second anyone saysLet’s go out.

I should’ve just stayed back with Casey. Since he’s not a social butterfly like James and Gareth, he opted out. And now look at me, kicking myself for not doing the same.

I’ve never been that guy; the one who goes out to meet new people. I’d rather stay home, maybe watch a few movies, write a song or two. Hell, I’d even rather clean. Even during the Overcast Tour, it was the same routine every day: play the set, slink back to the van, sleep, eat, shower, repeat.

So why the hell did I thinknowwas the time to change?

My grip tightens on the wheel, fingers going pale as the blood drains. I should just turn around. But my brain won’t shut the hell up. It just keeps feeding me a million reasons to keep going.

Like how I promised I wouldn’t just hole up in the hotel for the whole trip. Or how I actually kind ofwantto talk to the woman who’s been taking up way too much of my brain space the last few days. Even if the anxiety is gnawing at my insides like I swallowed fucking battery acid.

I slow the car and inch forward when the house finally comes into view. A verylargehouse at that. Like, “Better Homes & Gardens” huge.

“Do you think they’re… rich?” James asks from the back seat. He’s been bouncing around the entire drive until the last five minutes when he finally relaxed enough to sit back.

Like I said—golden retriever.

“Somebody sure is,” Gareth mutters, tipping up the peak of his cap for a better look.

I swallow hard, stretching my fingers to get the feeling back.

James’s door flies open before I even get a chance to put it into park. He’s halfway up the walkway before I can blink, but thankfully, Gareth catches up to him in only a few strides.

When I finally reach them, Gareth stops, whistles low, and gives the front garden a once-over.

“Didn’t I tell you we’d find some sugar mamas while we were here?” he says with a chuckle.

I roll my eyes and punch him in the arm, making him stumble. “Knock it off,” I mutter.

James raises his hand to knock, but somehow, it feels like he’s knocking on my chest. Everything slows down, and all I can hear is the frantic pounding of my own heart.

Yeah… maybe this was a bad idea.