Page 128 of Under Pressure

Still not speaking, my footsteps are silent on the carpet. When I sit where she wants me, I tip my head back to look at her. This position is one of my favourites because she’s above me rather than below. It makes my cock hard to have to look up, though I’d prefer to be on my knees while I do it.

My hands find the backs of her thighs, and I dig my fingers into their softness. She blows out a soft breath, holding the back of my head. The casual touch feels like anything but right now. Our connection is like a current flowing through where we touch, and I can’t get enough of it. I could spend the rest of my life right here, doing nothing more than touching her and feeling as the distance that had grown between us shrinks entirely.

“I was so worried when Kellan called,” she whispers.

“I’m sorry. I wanted you to hear it from one of us rather than online.”

“Don’t apologize. When I was waiting to board, I called your mom and told her. I wasn’t thinking clearly, so if you’re mad, I get it. You should have been the one to do that when you were ready.”

My smile starts slow, creeping up as I lean forward and press my face to her belly. She tenses before quickly relaxing again, playing with my hair.

“I’m not mad. Thank you for letting her know. I wasn’t thinking clearly, either. My focus was making sure you knew.”

“I did manage to convince her not to fly out after me. You’ll need to go see her when you’re home, if she isn’t already there waiting.”

I huff a laugh. “She better not be. I want time alone with you.”

“Right now doesn’t count?”

“It won’t be nearly enough.”

Her swallow is loud, urging me to pull back so I can meet hergaze. Nerves twist her features. I place a kiss over her belly button and pull back, bringing me with me until she’s standing completely between my legs. My shoulder only twinges a bit when I recline on the bed and watch her, hoping she can recognize the utter awe I’m feeling.

With pieces of red hair falling out of her claw clip and her face void of any makeup, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the honour of looking at, let alone having as mine. I soak in the sight of her, breathing deeply, calm. She grows curious, and I wet my lips before speaking.

“I love you, Quinny. That hasn’t and won’t change.”

“What if I’m secretly a serial killer?”

“I’ll ask you to teach me what you know so we can be the most successful serial-killing duo in history.”

“And if I admitted that I wanted to wait for marriage to have sex with anyone again?”

“Then I’ll wait until we get married.”

Her lips tug, then go flat when she presses them together. “You have an answer for everything.”

“No, I’m just sure about you. I’m not going to change my mind.”

“Can I sit?” she asks, shoulders falling in what I’m taking as acceptance.

“’Course, baby.”

The bed dips beside me, and I immediately reach for her hand, placing it over my chest. She looks at me and worries her lip, her palm warm against me.

“I don’t know why I’m so scared of this. You knew me back then—well, not really. Knew of me, I guess. It shouldn’t surprise you that I had a rough childhood. I think everyone knew at one point.”

“I guessed. That’s all anyone could do. If they pretended to know anything absolute, they were talking out of their ass.”

She clears her throat, nodding. “It was hard. My mother is anaddict. Or she was. Probably still is. I haven’t seen her in eleven years, so I can’t be sure anymore.”

I nod, running my palm over her knuckles.

“The day I turned eighteen, I took Callie and moved us into an apartment I found that would risk renting to someone without a credit background. My mom wasn’t always so bad. For the early parts of my childhood, she was neglectful by choice, not because the drugs influenced her to be. It was once I got older, and she started realizing that I could be relied on to do the things she never wanted to, that she kind of . . . let herself go.

“My nan tried to take us in before we left, but I refused to let her. I knew that she wanted us, and that she was prepared to doanythingto take us away from our mother, but I made the decision to keep us in our trailer until I was confident that I could take care of Callie somewhere else. If CPS had been called, they would have separated us, and if the child benefit money stopped being deposited into Mom’s account, well, I didn’t know what would have happened to her. Nan was already old when she had my mother. Her knees were giving out one by one; she didn’t have a license to drive. Her pension wasn’t big, and forcing her to stretch it to take care of the two of us wasn’t something I was going to allow. I needed to take everyone on myself. She apologized often on behalf of her daughter, but I never once blamed her for anything.

“I wish I could tell you that watching her two children leave shook something out of my mother and made her decide that she wanted to get clean, but it didn’t. Thinking back on that day, I’m almost positive she was high when we did and didn’t register more than me screaming at her before stepping outside with our bags. I can count on one hand the number of times I ever saw her completely sober, and even then, she was a pathetic excuse of a mother.