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When he didn’t answer, I turned around. River, a black shadow surrounded by early morning sun, walking stick resting on his shoulder, stood in the middle of the living room with a sort of goofy half-smile on his face.

“Oh, you’re really good,” I joked.

He nodded. He even maintained eye contact. “Miguel is a really special guy, Dad.”

“Yeah?” I said, holding up the carafe. “Wanna tell me about it over coffee?”

He looked down at himself and nodded. “Yeah, lemme shower and get changed first.”

“Go for it.”

River walked out of his room just a few minutes later, rubbing a towel over his head, a funny look on his face.

“You okay, Riv?”

“I’ve never seen you use more than one towel for a shower.”

Oops.

It’s always the tiny details that got you busted. That was a lesson I’d taught him a long time ago when I’d found an empty can of cheap beer in his trash can.

I stared at River, not sure what to say for myself. He cracked the biggest smile I’d seen in months.

“Dad, you should see your face right now. It is the best thingever.”

I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed that I’d been clocked so hard or overjoyed that my son was smiling. Teasing me, even. Actually, he’d been teasing me since last night, but there was a lightness to it this morning.

“So … Beau?” he asked, grabbing a mug.

I bit my upper lip, trying to figure out how honest I should be.

“Oh my God,” he said, nearly spilling the coffee. “I’mright?”

He looked …thrilled?

I rubbed my hands over my face. “Maybe?”

“Holy shit. Was that your first time with a guy?”

I slowly raised my eyebrows and shoulders at the same time.

River’s eyes were going to pop outta his sockets if he wasn’t careful.

“What the fuck? How am I just now finding this out?”

“I kind of wanted to tell you when you came out, but then it seemed stupid to talk about my one experiment in college when I was in the middle of a divorce with your mom, and I didn’t want to make it about me, so…”

His face went serious. “And then she died. Hella awkward to talk about after that.”

“Super awkward.” I looked up at the wood-beamed ceiling. “Thanks,Monica.”

“That is so fucked up.” River was laughing, though, as he shook his head. “Why isn’t Beau here?”

“He didn’t want to, I don’t know, freak you out? Gross you out?” I dumped some half-and-half into my coffee. “Besides, we’re not here for much longer.”

River’s expression darkened. “I know.”

“Wait, are we both hung up on our vacation flings?” I asked, teasing, even as my heart gave a sad little throb.


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