Page 5 of The Scholar's Improper Wife

“The seller lied.” He was gripping the edge of his desk now. “These are, Si-er, these are erotic huabens. For married couples. Or adults with very specific interests.”

“Erotic? Aren’t those love stories too? The seller recommended these to me when I told him I was getting married next spring. He said it will definitely please my future wife.” Why was he being so difficult about this? “And you promised to help me understand—”

“I promised to help you understand romance.” Each word sounded carefully controlled. “Not. Not to explain dragon rods.”

“Then what is a dragon rod?!” She was getting frustrated now. “Because every book mentions them and I don’t understand why the heroes keep taking out weapons and hurtingthe heroines with them! That’s not romantic, that’s assault with—”

“It’s not a weapon!” The words burst out.

She blinked. “Then what is it?”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then another.

“It’s. A euphemism.”

“A euphemism for what?”

“For a man’s. Private. Parts.” The words sounded like they were being forcibly extracted. “His.Yang.Organ.”

Silence.

Yun-si looked at the books. Back at him. Back at the books. Then at his crotch before snapping her gaze up guiltily.

“You mean his—”

“Yes.”

“So when the books say ‘thrust into her’—”

“Yes.”

“And ‘she moaned in pain’ because—”

“Because the first time can involve discomfort for women, yes.” He looked like he wanted to combust. “That’s. That’s what these books are describing. The act of. Of marital intimacy.”

Oh.

OH.

The jade gate. The thrusting. The moaning. So the chrysanthemum caves and flower petals mean—

Her own face caught fire.

“I didn’t—I thought—” She couldn’t finish any sentence.

“You thought dragon rods were actual weapons.” His voice was still strained but held a note of something else now. Possibly the urge to laugh. Or cry. Or both.

“It’s not my fault the terminology is confusing!”

“It’s metaphorical, Si-er.”

“Well how was I supposed to know that?!” She was mortified now. Absolutely mortified. She’d just asked him to explain. Toexplain male anatomy. While waving explicit books around and reading passages about jade pillars and thrusting and, and, whatever they all meant.

“I’m going to—I should—” She started gathering the books.

“Wait.” He moved to the medical texts shelf in the corner, pulled down three volumes right from the very top and thrust them at her without meeting her eyes. “Here. Read these. They’re anatomical texts. Medical books. They’ll explain everything. Um. Without the flowery language.”

She took the books, hands still trembling slightly from mortification and flipped open the top volume.