Page 171 of The Exit Strategy

“Yes.”

“Why?” I sniff.

“Because you didn’t tell me, Junie. It was my job to take care of you. Literally mandated by the Massachusetts family court, my job to take care of you, and you didn’t tell me.”

“About—” This could go so many ways.

“About Natalie. About what she did to you when you were a fucking teenager. About—Jesus, Junie—all of it. I’m your brother. My job is to protect you. Cole, Hud, Fen, they all feel the same way. If you had just used your goddamn voice to tell us about Natalie, she never would’ve been allowed into your life or our home in the first place, but you didn’t say a fucking word.”

I close my eyes. “I?—”

“I’m not asking you to defend yourself. I’m telling you what I’ve been stewing about while cramped on an airplane because if I don’t, I’ll explode. And I might actually fucking kill Tommy.”

Tommy. Not Dad. He’s lost the privilege of being our father, though in truth, that was something he lost years ago.

“I’m not surprised by mo—Anna’s words.” My chest feels like it’s cracking in two. “And Tommy’s part in it doesn’t evenscratch the surface of my pain because he’s never been part of my life—not really, anyway. But it still—it hurts. It hurts so much.”

He grunts. “I’m so sorry, Junie. Honestly, I wish I could go back. I knew Anna treated you differently, but I had no idea it was like…that.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Nolan.”

“It wasn’t yours either.”

Dealing with the complicated emotions around my mother will take more time and energy than I have in reserve right now, so I simply nod.

“I don’t know exactly what Tommy did,” Nolan says. “But from what Hud has explained so far, it wasn’t good. If Cole hadn’t intervened, it could’ve really fucked up your life. And I hate to admit it, but I think any of us would’ve done the same thing.”

I frown up at him.

“Seems we all want to protect you but missed that somewhere along the way, you grew up to be a fully capable adult.” He blows out a harsh breath. “I have a lot of guilt over this, Junebug. About all of it. And I hate that we allowed Natalie into your home when you were vulnerable. None of us ever saw it.”

I bump his shoulder with mine and lower my voice. “Natalie was very good at…manipulating me when I was younger. I truly believed if I spoke up, Cole would hate me, that it would cause a rift between all of you, and I didn’t want to be responsible for that.”

“Nothing and no one could ever come between us. And I promise you, had any of us, Cole especially, known what was happening, we would’ve stopped it. Please tell me you believe that.”

“I-I do. Now.”

“Good.”

He pulls his knees up and rests his elbows on them. The cold cabinet behind me presses into my shoulder blades, but I’m too drained to move.

“We fucked up,” he says on a harsh exhale.

“No, you didn’t. You were also dealing with Anna and med school. Cole was—he is who he is. The boys were holding us together. I didn’t—I didn’t want to addCole’s girlfriend is torturing meto anyone’s plate. I didn’t always want to be the little girl you all had to worry about.”

He rakes an agitated hand through his hair. “It wasn’t your call to make. You were a child, Juniper.”

“So were you. Maybe not legally, but neither of us walked out of that house without scars.”

I’m not even sure why I keep it. That house was haunted by sadness long before I inherited it.

“I was your legal guardian, Junie. You should’ve known you could always come to me. I failed you there.”

“I don’t see it as a failure, Noley. I think…we were both just doing the best we could.”

“But you’ve had years to tell me since.” The hurt in his tone makes my stomach turn.

“I did.”