Page 147 of Wreckage and Rain

"Patricia has called you twice this month."

"She has decided I'm the responsible Charleston-based representative of the King family. I've been promoted."

"Welcome to your new job."

"Thank you."

He climbs into the cab Colt called for him. Waves through the window. Disappears into the snow.

Colt comes up behind me. Puts his arms around me from the back. Tucks his chin against my shoulder.

"Home?"

"Roof first."

"Roof. In January."

"Roof. In January."

"You're out of your mind."

"It's one of my favorite things about me."

***

The roof of our building is accessible by a service stairwell at the end of the third floor hallway. We've brought up two folding chairs, a fleece blanket, and a thermos of cocoa. Colt is wearing his Patagonia, I'm wearing the puffer-on-puffer-on-mittens situation, and we sit in the chairs at the corner where the parapet looks east, toward the lake. The city is laid out below us.

The lake is black. The downtown is gold. The Hancock Tower is a sliver against the cloud cover. The snow has stopped. The wind is in our hair. The cocoa is the kind Sarah taught me to make at fourteen, the slow kind, with real cocoa and milk and a pinch of salt.

"Summer."

"Yeah."

"I have a question."

"Okay."

"Are you happy."

He has been asking me this every two weeks since the fall. It's a real check-in, never an obligation. He asks it on Saturday nights, when we're alone, when there's no agenda. He asks it like Dr. Ramos taught him. He asks it because he learned the hard way that the answer is never something you should assume.

"I am."

"Tell me what kind."

"The new kind. The kind that includes the bad days. The kind where I cried at the Sears Tower last week and I was still happy. The kind that doesn't ask me to pretend."

"Specifically."

"Specifically." I take a sip of cocoa. The wind catches the steam. "I'm happy that you're here every day now. I'm happy that Lucia called you Uncle Cowboy yesterday and you bought boots in retaliation. I'm happy that Autumn is three blocks away. I'm happy that Sam is going to be okay. I'm happy that I've got a book coming out. I'm happy that I have a new book idea in my head that's bigger than the last one and I haven't told you yet because I don't have the words yet, but I'm going to. I'm happy that you're wearing the cologne Jake gave you and you didn't used to wear it and now you do because it makes Lucia laugh. I'm happy in the specific small daily way."

He's quiet. I have his hand under the fleece blanket. Mittens make it hard to hold properly. We're doing our best.

"What is the new book."

"I haven't told you because I want to know whether I can hold all of it in my head a little longer before I let it out."

"Tell me what you can tell me."