Page 24 of A Major Love

“That explains a lot, but?—”

“I know it doesn’t excuse the choices I made, but I love you, and it has always been my plan to make you my wife and the mother of my children. I fucked up, but my plan never changed.”

“Major, I don’t think . . .”

I let my words trail off when he shook his head.

“I have no right to feel how I feel, or to say what I’m about to say. Lovie, you’re mine.”

“That’s not how this works, Major. You can’t dismiss me for any amount of time, let alone six years, and think I still belong to you.”

“I don’t think anything, baby. This is a fact. I’m telling you thatyou’re . . . mine.I don’t care where I have to go, what I have to do, or whose ass I have to beat.You’re mine.”

It was really fucked up that after all the shit I’d gone through trying to get over him, my body was already betraying me. I didn’t know which was worse, my heart or my pussy, but both of those bitches had me fucked up. I couldn’t give in this easily.

“Where was all this energy six years ago?” I asked, determined not to become puddy in his hands.

“It was hiding behind shame, embarrassment, fear, disgust, disappointment, and guilt. I would never minimize what I put you through, but I was in a bad way. The only fight I’ve ever lost was the one I fought after finding out there was a possibility I had a child on the way.”

Although I didn’t watch the fight he was referring to, I heard about it. I was even asked to do a story about it, but I declined, which was a risky move considering I was an intern.

It was only his second fight in the heavyweight division, and the boxing world dragged him through the mud. There was a lot of talk about his first fight in the new weight class being a fluke and that he wasn’t ready to move up. I didn’t follow him much after that because it was hard, and my wounds were fresh.

“I remember that, but at the time, I didn’t feel much sympathy for you. I was going through my own shit,” I told him.

“I didn’t deserve your sympathy, but I deserved that ass whupping because I wasn’t prepared to fight. The media tore me up, but I didn’t even care. I thought about hanging up my gloves, but my father got me together. Plus, I’d already broken one promise to you. If I’d quit, I would’ve failed you again, and I couldn’t let that happen.”

The money.

“Yeah, about that. Why did you keep sending it, and why so much?”

“It was the least I could do,” was all he offered as a response.

Another bout of silence consumed us, but it was comfortable.

“Major . . .”

“I already don’t like the tone of your voice, because you sound like you’re about to say some shit I don’t wanna hear. Don’t fight it, Lovie. Don’t fight us. We’ve wasted enough time because of my actions. I don’t want to live the rest of my life wallowing in regret. The life I imagined for us can still happen, but we gotta both want it. What do I need to do for you to trust me again, because I’m still in love with you, and I know I’m not in this alone?”

“It’s true. I’m still in love with you, but we can’t just pick up where we left off,” I said.

“That’s not what I’m asking, baby. As long as I know I’m not in this alone, you don’t need to worry about a damn thing. I fucked this up, so it’s up to me to make it right.”

My mind was hesitant and telling me to pump the brakes, but my betraying ass heart and pussy didn’t give a damn what my mind said. Both had ached for him daily for the past six years, and neither would allow me to tell him to go fuck himself, at least not without giving this some time to play out.

She seemed hesitant,understandably so, but my gut told me she wanted us as much as I did. I patiently waited for her response, praying she loved me enough to try again.

“We have to take it slow,” she finally said.

“Slow? Meaning what? Give me an example.”

I needed to know exactly what she meant because I planned to bury my face between her thighs in about sixty seconds.

“Let’s keep it on the low. No public appearances as a couple or anything like that.”

“You trying to hide me from somebody?” I questioned, slightly offended.

“No, but I don’t want to end up on the blogs as your new arm candy, especially if this doesn’t work out.”