Page 79 of A Thousand Second Chances

“Do you want us to go look for him?” Chris asks.

“No, that’s all right,” she says with a wave of her hand. “This isn’t the first time it’s happened, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. He likes to walk along the shore and watch the lake until he cools off. There’ll be plenty of time tomorrow for us to mend things.”

Assuming today ever ends.Poor Carol, trapped in an infinite argument with her son even if she can’t remember. I recall the figure I thought I’d glimpsed walking near Sunset Rock during the Northern Lights. Had that been Owen decompressing from a fight with his mom? If so, I hope he’d found some peace that night, like Chris and I had.

Carol claps her hands together, jolting me from my reverie and making me jump. “Anyway, that’s enough of my problems for one night. You boys don’t want to sit here and listen to me complain about my son. Why don’t you head on up, and I’ll see you in the morning?”

I start to obey, but then another thought occurs to me. “Do you still have that deck of cards?”

A slow grin breaks out over her weary face. “Course I do. Assumingyou’restill ready to lose.”

I glance at Chris for confirmation, and when he shrugs, I return her grin. “Bring it on.”

It turns out Chris has somehow survived living in Michigan for years without ever learning how to play Michigan Euchre. The set-up is a bit odd with only three people, but we manage. Chris is adorably terrible, and I try not to laugh at how competitive he gets despite having only the barest understanding of the strategy. Carol and I are more evenly matched. We used to play this almost every night with my parents when we visited, trying to out-trick one another. Memories of my mom laughing over a winning hand fill me with a joyful sort of sadness.

What would she think if she could see me now? Would she be proud of who I’ve become? I sneak a glance at Chris as he deals out the next hand. Would…would she have been happy I’d foundmy way back to Chris? Or would she be disappointed her vision of my future hadn’t come to pass? It breaks my heart that I’ll never know.

It’s after midnight by the time we call it, leaving Carol downstairs. She swears she’ll follow us up to her own room soon, but I have the distinct feeling she’ll be sitting down there until either Owen comes home or the current cycle resets.

Chris and I don’t speak when we slip into my room together. Our earlier passion has cooled into something softer yet no less potent. As we undress each other and fall into bed, each kiss feels like a promise, each caress a prayer. And as we lose ourselves within the other, our bodies melding together, mixed in with my desire and love is a faint twinge of fear.

Because as much as I never want to let this go, I can’t shake the premonition that reality will inevitably come crashing back in.

thirty-one

Chris

The next few Saturdayspass like a perfect, unending vacation. I’d worried Percy might insist we resume investigating the time loop after that initial day off, but he must’ve needed this break as much as I did. Or maybe he’s simply enjoying our newfound intimacy as much as I am.

Our world had already shrunk to this singular day, but now it constricts still further to include only us. By unspoken agreement, we don’t invite Quinn along again after that first night. I wouldn’t have asked her to join us then either if Percy hadn’t seemed so insistent. As much as I love Quinn, I want to savor this time together for as long as I can without anyone else, even my best friend, getting in the way.

Each day is a new first date—a fresh opportunity to do the sorts of things we’d never have gotten the chance to do otherwise.

We work our way through every noteworthy restaurant on the island, from fine dining to fast food.

We check out every bar and every night spot.

We buy a sample slab of every brand of fudge on the island and gorge ourselves until I know how Owen and Percy must’ve felt as kids.

We sneak into the famous Grand Hotel just because we can and explore its beautiful grounds, even sticking around long enough to try a round of golf and decide we both loathe it.

When Percy hesitantly admits he’s never gotten a professional massage, we complete a circuit of every spa on Mackinac, swiping credit cards with bills we’ll never have to pay for the swankiest treatment packages they offer.

“Maybethisis the real point of the time loop,” I suggest while we sip mimosas in an enormous hot tub after a pair of deep tissue massages.

Percy frowns at me from over the lip of his champagne flute. “What, you think the universe decided we desperately needed manicures?”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t mean todayspecifically. But maybe it thought we both deserved a break—a chance to relax and decouple ourselves from the grind of reality. Maybe this is…I dunno, our cosmic reward or whatever for how much life has sucked the last couple years.”

Percy snorts and splashes me playfully with water. “Somehow, I think the universe has better things to do than look after us. Besides, there are so many other people in the world who deserve a break more. Why would it choose us over them?”

I close my eyes and tip my head back, sinking lower into the warm water. My leg brushes against Percy’s, and I leave it there. “Fine, maybe that’snotthe point. But that doesn’t mean we can’t decide to make it that way. Whatever the universe intended—if it intended anything at all—we can repurpose it into whatever we want. So, why not this?”

Percy doesn’t respond, and later, after we’ve exhausted ourselves and lie snuggling in the enormous king bed in our suite, my hazy brain drifts back to that alluring sentiment.

We can repurpose it into whatever we want.

What I want has never been clearer. Screw responsibilities and real life and all the reasons I’ve been telling myself this will never work. All I need is this beautiful boy wrapped in my arms, however I can get him. Whether it’s fate’s intended plan for us or not, each successive Saturday gives me one more chance to spend the day with the guy I love.