Page 74 of A Thousand Second Chances

Thankfully, Percy seems to realize what I intend, and he leans forward, capturing my lips with his. This kiss is different from the ones we shared this morning. Those had been full of passion,hot and heavy. But this one lingers—a soft press of lips, so full of sweetness and longing it’s almost painful.

I’d have been happy staying like that until our current loop reset had I not lost my balance and plopped back into my seat. I reluctantly release my grip on his kayak, letting us drift apart and trying not to read too much into the symbolism.

Percy chuckles, staring at me with wide eyes. “That’s gotta be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. Were youtryingto capsize us?”

“Hey, I got the job done, didn’t I?”

He runs two fingers lightly over his lips, his cheeks reddening. “I suppose you did.”

I hesitate, not wanting to send him spiraling again but feeling the need to say it. “Thanks for sharing that with me, Perce. About your mom. It sounds like you made a lot of good memories here.”

To my relief, he smiles. “We did. It’s easy to get stuck on the loss, especially when I’m running around revisiting her old haunts. But I don’t want to remember her as something depressing. It’s the good times I want to hang onto, you know?”

I nod, thinking about my parents and the track team—about everything in my life that had become strained or broken when I came out. As much as I want to do the same, I’m not sure I can forget and forgive quite so easily. Percy’s mom had been taken from him far too soon, but it’s not like she’dwantedto leave. Everyone inmylife who’d abandoned me had chosen that course.

After returning the kayaks, we wander over to Market Street and grab lunch at a little bistro there. Conversation comes easily, and we chat through the meal, catching up on our current classes and whatever else piques our interest. This effortless friendship is probably what I’ve missed most about losing Percy, and I’m grateful to have him back in my life. I only hope he feelsthe same, and this renewed closeness doesn’t end up being on borrowed time.

I have plenty of ideas brewing for other ways we could enjoy ourselves—some of which even involve clothes—but we end up wandering the nearby stores and art galleries, retreading much of the same ground Quinn and I had that first Saturday. As much as I love Quinn, I enjoy myself far more this time around. Some of it might be the company, but I think it’s mostly my frame of mind. Before, I’d been treating this trip as a chore to get through, especially with Percy dogging my thoughts. This time, however, there’s nothing stopping me from enjoying the art and laughing along at all the terrible touristy gifts we find.

At Percy’s suggestion, we make a game of it, buying the worst, most atrociously ugly knick-knacks from each store we enter. Why not? All the garbage will disappear tomorrow anyway, our bank accounts reset to normal.

We’re exiting a gift shop, Percy having opted for a disgusting puke yellow T-shirt while I went for a set of coasters shaped like mittens in honor of Michigan, when we almost collide with Devon. He’s alone for once, his usual posse nowhere to be seen. That doesn’t stop him from giving us his characteristic sneer.

“Move,” he snarls. “You’re blocking the door.”

I would’ve crossed my arms had they not been laden with too much useless crap. As it is, I straighten my back, rising to my full height. “We’ve got as much right to be here as you, asshole.”

His eyes flick from me to Percy, and he smirks. “I’m surprised you found time to grace the rest of us with your presence at all, Rawley, given how busy you must be with your boyfriend there.”

My face darkens at that, hands tightening around the handles of my bags. Let him say what he wants about me, but Percy is off-limits.

Before I can muster a response, however, Percy snaps, “Don’t be jealous, Devon. If you wanted him, you should’ve made your move when he was available. Now, leave us the fuck alone.”

Devon’s eyes widen, and he raises his hands. “Whoa, calm down, dude. I don’t even know you.” Percy just raises an eyebrow. Devon looks between the two of us again, and his shoulders hunch. “Whatever,” he huffs, stepping aside. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Percy shoves past him, and I quickly follow suit, shooting Devon a glare. I wait until we turn onto a side street a couple blocks down to whirl and hug Percy in a blur of flailing shopping bags. He tenses for a fraction of a second before relaxing, letting his head rest on my shoulder as he gently nuzzles his face into my neck.

“What’s this for?” he murmurs.

“For being a total badass to Devon back there!” Not to mention how casually he’d brushed off the implication we were together. Sure, it had been in the heat of the moment, but given how he usually reacts to the slightest hint of being outed, it still seems like enormous progress.

I feel him shrug against me. “That asshole had it coming after how he’s acted toward you all trip. I’m sick of it. What right does he have to treat you like crap after he already chased you away from the track team? It’s bullshit.”

My arms clench around Percy, and my throat feels suddenly tight. Ugh, I don’t usually get this emotional about crap.

Percy, damn him, notices my reaction. “You okay?”

I nod and clear my throat. “Yeah. It’s just…other than Quinn, I think you’re the only person who has ever stood up for me like that.”

He grimaces. “People suck.”

The utter disdain in his voice makes me chuckle. “They really do.” I’m quiet for a moment, gathering my thoughts. “The worstpart is, I still miss him,” I admit. “Him and the other guys on the team. I mean, how stupid is that? They all turned their backs on me when they sided with Coach, but part of me still wishes things could go back to the way they were.” I sigh. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come out in the first place. Maybe you had the right idea all along.”

“No!” Percy utters the word with such force that I draw back, peering up into his face to find his eyes hard specks of ice. “Don’teverthink like that! That’s how they win, by making you afraid. You’re the strongest person I know.” His jaw tightens, and he averts his eyes. “So much stronger than me.”

It’s notmehe’s angry with, I realize.It’s himself.

“You’re strong, too,” I say, pressing a kiss to his stubbled cheek. “You’ve survived so much. And even if it doesn’t always feel like it, I know you’re strong enough to survive whatever else life throws at you. You don’t need to live in fear. You deserve the whole world to see you for who you are.”