Page 102 of A Thousand Second Chances

Then he’s gone, his footsteps fading across the path until I hear the quiet click of the front door. Only then do I follow, gazing across the shadowy garden after the boy I love. The boy I worry I’m letting walk away again, this time for good.

forty-one

Chris

I wake up groggy,instinctively reaching out to turn off the blaring alarm on my phone before remembering everything that had happened the previous night.Owen. Percy. The time loop.Sitting bolt upright, I scrabble for my phone, my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I check the date.

Saturday, October 14th, 8:00 AM.

Disappointment sucks the air out of me, and I squeeze my eyes shut, fending off a wave of despair. I’d beensohopeful last night when I’d slipped into bed. It had been well past 1:30 AM by then, later than any iteration had ever lasted. I’d really believed saving Owen might have finally done the trick.

Guess I was wrong.

Fragments of last night haunt me as I shower and get ready for another bright and glorious Saturday. Thinking of Owen and how torn up he’d been makes my heart ache. The kid’s too similar to Percy and me for his own good. In some ways, seeing him last night waving around that pistol had been like staringat some alternate version of myself—one where I’d never gotten past my initial hurt at my breakup with Percy and hadn’t met Quinn when I needed her most.

I hope my words got through to him…though I guess we might never get a chance to see. The thought leaves me feeling even more melancholic than usual, so I scramble to focus on something else, andof coursemy stupid brain conjures Percy and that almost-kiss. I groan, resting my head against the tiled wall in the shower.

I still can’t believe I’d said no after how much I’d missed him these past Saturdays. Yet, as I shampoo my hair, I can’t help but feel like I did the right thing. For all that I love him and am terrified of losing him again, I also don’t want to be anyone’s dirty secret—not even his. Maybe he’d meant what he said about being ready to commit to a future together, maybe not. Either way, I intend to wait for that future to come in order to find out. No more living in fairy tales.

I tug on fresh clothes, my mind returning to Owen.God, that poor kid.We should try to corner him earlier in the day so we can stop him before things get as far as they had. Maybe now that we know the full truth, we can convince him to confide in us sooner.

Percy and I made a pretty decent team talking him down. Maybe we should become motivational speakers once this is over, especially if we have to repeat the loop for much longer. Because one thing is certain—no matter how many iterations pass, I don’t intend to let a single cycle end with Owen’s death ever again.

I might’ve told Owen what I thought he needed to hear last night, but as I head downstairs, I realize I hadn’t been lying. For the first time in a long time, I feel…well, maybe not quitehappy, but certainly content. I think I’m well on my way to liking myself, and that alone feels like an enormous triumph.

Maybe you had some inkling about what you were doing after all, universe.

Or maybe the credit for this one is all on us.

I’m wearing an uncharacteristically huge grin when I enter the cafe. Even if we’re still stuck in a time loop, our triumph last night warrants some coffee and pastries to celebrate. The realization that I’m probably safe to go ahead and grab an order for Percy broadens my smile even more.

Heading up to the front, I brace myself for Owen to be the snot he’d been before everything went down…only to freeze in the middle of the cafe and stare.

Devon stands at the counter, waiting for his order. That’sneverhappened before—not once in any of our previous loops. His girlfriend always comes in without him. So, what the hell is he doing here now? Things aren’t supposed tochange. That’s not how time loops work!

To add even more weirdness to the situation, Devon notices me standing there and raises a hand in greeting. “Hey, man,” he says with a bob of his head. “Good to see you.”

“Y-yeah,” I somehow choke out past my shock. “You, too.”

“Look.” He fiddles with the zipper on his jacket. “I meant what I said yesterday about talking to the school about Coach. I’ve got your back if you want to try out for the team again. And I’m sure a lot of the other guys will, too, once they hear what went down.”

My throat is too tight, my eyes bulging like they’re about to pop out of their sockets. Somehow, I manage the barest of nods.

“Cool.” Owen hands Devon his order, and he beelines for the exit. “Later, dude.”

“Later,” I say right as he’s passing through the glass doors. Still feeling in a daze, I slowly turn back to the counter. And there’s surprise number three—Owen is smiling at me. It’s small and awkward, but it’s there.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi.” This is all too strange. Deep down, I’ve got an inkling of what must be happening, but my conscious brain hasn’t quite caught up yet.

“Latte and a blueberry muffin, same as yesterday?” Owen asks.

I nod mutely, and he sets to work preparing my order. By the time he returns and passes it to me, I’ve checked my phone another half-dozen times, and it still stubbornly insists it’s Saturday. But…

“Do you remember?” I ask Owen. “About yesterday?”

He glances from side to side before leaning in. “Of course,” he says in a hushed voice. “That’s not the kind of thing you just forget.” He grimaces. “Even if I wish I could. Thanks again, by the way. I…I seriously owe you. You and Percy both.”