Page 288 of A Taste of Vanilla

“I love you,” I say again. “I love you when you’re loud. I love you when you’re angry and when you change a pastry name ten minutes before opening because the old one wasn’t good enough.”

A laugh breaks through her tears.

“I love you when you make too many specials and when you cry in the walk-in and when you pretend a road trip is healing even though the damn car has betrayed you how many times?”

“Only twice was it a real problem,” she says, her mouth wobbling.

“I love your maps and the way you think of everything under the sun. I love the way you build things, whether it’s relationships, kingdoms, or your bakery.”

Her tears continue to spill.

“I love Bitter Bloom because it’s yours,” I say. “Not because I can organize it. Or because I can improve it. Not because it gives me a place to feel useful.”

I worry my bottom lip.

“I don’t want to fix you. I need you to believe that.”

“I want to,” she says as she wraps her arms around herself.

“I don’t want a smaller version of you. I don’t need an easier version. I don’t need fewer feelings or colors or ideas. I want to build a life where all of that has room.”

She covers her mouth with one hand.

“I don’t know how to do everything,” I say. “I’m going to get some of it wrong. I’ll probably get it wrong in really specific and irritating ways.”

A wet laugh escapes her. “Probably.”

“But I can be steady,” I say. “I know how to be steady. I know how to show up. I know how to learn a process and repeat it. I know how to ask and how to stay.”

Her tears fall harder.

“I know how you like your coffee and what you need to eat when you’re in pain.”

Her eyes look up at me.

“I know how to love you awkwardly.”

Another laugh.

“But I won’t make you guess at the truth anymore.”

Halston looks at me for a long moment. “That was a lot of words for you.”

“It was.”

“Are you dizzy?”

“A little.”

She laughs fully.

“I love you too,” she says.

Everything stops. The words aren’t new. She’s said them before. Multiple times, actually.

But this time feels different.

“I love you too. And I hate that I do sometimes because you are so emotionally inconvenient.”