Page 55 of Something like Desire

“Why didn’t you tell me all of that?” Zach asks softly, his eyes searching mine for an answer.

“You never asked, and I never felt like there was a right time.” I reach out and gently place my hand on his arm, which is held tightly against his chest like a barrier. His muscles tense beneath my fingers, but I don’t pull away.

He sighs. “I feel really blindsided. I think things would have gone so much better if you’d been honest from the start.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” He lets out a long sigh and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this upset—at least with me. “What does this mean for us? I’ve never felt anything like this before.”

“I have to go,” Zach says. “Sorry.” He runs a hand through his hair, avoiding my gaze for a moment before turning and walking toward the door. Every part of me wishes he’d feel that pull—the pull I always feel when I’m near him—that would bring him back. He pauses for a second outside of the doorway, as if tempted to stop, but then shakes his head and keeps walking out, leaving me standing there alone.

TWENTY-THREE

“I’ve got the world’s worst hangover,” Gia groans, cradling her head in her hands. “Why did I do this to myself? And how long does Advil take to work?”

It takes every ounce of restraint not to singsongI told you solike a smug preschooler, so I bite my lip instead.

It’s the afternoon after the wedding, and we’re at Gia’s house. Mark is calmly tidying the remnants of the wedding tornado, dancing along to an upbeat playlist, while Gia lies sprawled on the living room floor because, as she puts it, being on the ground makes her feel less like vomiting her insides out.

“Look on the bright side,” I say with a shrug. “Now you’re at the part when you get to have the stress-free honeymoon with all of the hot sex. Hubba, hubba.”

Gia shoots me a look. “Whoa. Hubba, hubba? Who says that?”

“Uhhh... you?” I roll my eyes at her. “Were you seriously blackout drunk? I’m quoting you verbatim.”

“Oh.” Gia nibbles on her bottom lip. “I guess I get kind of pervy when I drink too much.”

“And give dramatic speeches that drop serious revelations,” I say, sitting on the carpet beside her. I’m trying to keep my mind off the events that cameafterthe speeches—the wedding-crashing proposal, Jayden seeing me in Zach’s arms, Zach being mad I lied to him about Jayden, that kind of thing. There’s a pit growing in my stomach, heavy with the realization that Zach and I may never have a chance, despite our intense chemistry.

Gia writhes around on the floor, clutching her head, before recovering slightly and turning to face me. “When will I feel better? Lexi, you drink a lot, you should know this.”

“I haven’t drunkthatmuch before. Very few people on the planet have. You were polishing off bottles of champagne like they were Aquafina.”

Gia exhales dramatically, her hand flopping over her forehead. “You’re right, the speech was awful. I probably made ninety-nine percent of the guests uncomfortable, and the other one percent were probably as drunk as I was. And that nonnegotiable list? Total mistake. It turned me into Bridezilla 2.0. I spent months making sure every detail would be perfect, and I still managed to make a total mess of everything.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” I say, even though she’s pretty close to spot-on. I want her to feel better and grow, not wallow in regret. I leave the room and come back holding her list and a pen. “Honestly, I think you did a pretty good job checking most of these off.”

Gia moans, clutching her temples. “Don’t lie to me, Lexi. The truth will hurt like hell, but I need to face facts.”

“Okay, let’s start at item six: having the wedding run smoothly and on time. Well, it all ran on time, right? The cake cutting, the meal, the dancing, it all happened. Let’s just maybe get rid of the word ‘smoothly,’ so we can be completely honest.”

Gia presses her lips together and nods slowly. “I guess I can compromise on that one.”

I cross out “smoothly” and slide the list over to Gia, pointing at the box. She takes the pen and makes a big check mark.

“Great. Moving on. All the wedding details organized to a T...? Honestly, you poured your whole life into this day, and every detail was spot-on. No cross-offs needed. Give me a check mark, sister.”

Gia smiles and adds a check mark to the box.

“Okay, next. Number four: for family and friends to have the time of their lives. Well, they’re definitelynotgoing to forget this wedding, I’ll tell you that much. That was... well, that was something.” I cross out a few words and add a few others, so the list now reads: “for family and friends to have a memorable time.”

Gia glances at my edit, ponders it for a second, then checks the box.

“This is going well,” I say brightly. “Look at us go. We’re at number three now: to have Lexi by my side. What do you think about that one?”

“Thank you,” she says. “You were there for me every minute. I couldn’t have asked for more. I appreciate it so much.” She adds a large check mark to the box with a dramatic flourish.

“Okay, two left now. Number two: to have Mom and Dad walk me down the aisle. Well, they didn’t so much walk you down the aisle as they guided you like a wild animal they were trying to domesticate, but hey, we can stick with ‘walk.’ Check mark, please.”

Gia does as I ask.