Page 147 of Find My Way Down to You

I lurch forward. “No! Stop!”

A cruel glimmer lights Milos’s eyes.

I don’t have time to react. Cary lets out a long, hoarse cry before Milos releases him. He pants, chest heaving. But when his head lifts, I see his eyes. Gold poured around obsidian irises.

His power is back.

“He is the ferrier of souls.” Milos holds my gaze. “And you willneverhave him.”

The harsh truth nearly knocks my legs from under me. No matter who I am, what power I do or don’t have…I can’t change the rules of Aides.

“When you step into the waters”—there’s an unnerving calmness to Milos’s voice—“you will forget this place. Forget us. Forget him.”

I watch Cary’s face pale.

Milos approaches me. “Are you sure you want that?”

No, I want to scream, instinctively.

I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to forget him.

I look at Cary. Every hard, delicate line in his face softens. I used to believe he was unreadable. Unknowable. But that’s so far from reality.

He’s a nerd about reading. He loves animals. Loves sweets, music. He’s careful and protective and warm once you give him a chance to talk. He loves to tease and laugh. He’s made mistakes, felt guilt over them. But he survived.

Just like me.

In his expression, I see what he wants to say:

It is okay, Auggie. You will be fine. You are more than what you give yourself credit for.

“August?” Milos prompts.

I can’t tear my eyes from Cary. Shuddering, I whisper, “Yes.”

Waving his hand dismissively, Milos snaps, “Thenleave us. The same way your pathetic ancestor did.”

He slips past me, disappearing.

I stumble forward. My knees hit soft sand as I kneel in front of Cary. His face tips up, sweat slick against his brow. That single curl rests on his forehead. When I reach to brush grains of sand from his shoulder, he catches my hand.

I’m scared to look at him, fully. I know the next part. Just like in the hospital two years ago, the moment I touched London’s cold skin.

Cary squeezes my hand. And this is the worst part. Saying goodbye to someone who’s still here.

My throat tightens. “Is it true? Will I forget you?”

The gold fades from his gaze. I stare into ocean-deep black as he nods once.

“There has to be a way to keep my memories. I’m Cora’s descendant, damn it,” I argue, feebly.

His lips dip the tiniest amount. “There are things in Aides I cannot explain.”

Tears well in my eyes. I snort despite them. “Seems like everything here is unexplainable.”

“Maybe to a mortal like you.”

His playful smirk keeps me from breaking down. His thumb traces my palm, then my wrist. It’s as if he’s trying to memorize me.