Page 67 of Last First Kiss

This is… new for him. Weird. Even more confusing.

But one thing’s certain: A slice of cake has never made him feel likethatbefore.

-8-?Send Out Save-the-Dates

Jordan arrives at the 24 Carter Gold offices on Monday morning with a powder-blue Sublime Doughnuts box, a long to-do list, and exhaustion weighing his bones down.

He didn’t sleep well last night. Surprisingly, it’s not because of wedding stress. In fact, the perpetual hustle from one checkbox to the next helps him pass out every evening after dinner. It’s not what happened at the bakery either. Jamie’s fingers between his lips hasn’t crossed his mind at all…ish.

No, his sudden fit of insomnia stems from a nightmare. A very specific recurring one from his childhood:

He’s ten or eleven, waking up alone in a big house that resembles Uncle Kenny and Auntie Leena’s home. But this one is empty. No Mom or Tevin or any of his other family members. Only him and the shadows and endless quiet. On the kitchen island is a note written in an unfamiliar script.

They left you. Everyone. Because you’re just like me. Neither one of us is good enough for them. Prepare yourself. We’ll always be alone.

—Your dad

Jordan never told anyone about those dreams as a kid. He didn’t want to believe they were true. No matter how many times he had them. No matter how many nights he’d wake in a cold sweat, tears clinging to his eyelashes, throat raw. Because eachtime he’d creep down the dark hallway and find his mom and Tevin asleep in their bed.

Still there.

They hadn’t left him. But he knew they would, one day. For work or a couple’s vacation or whatever.

So he followed the note’s instructions. He prepared himself.

Jordan got used to doing everything for himself. Learned to love accomplishing things on his own. He found comfort in being with himself.

Alone.

Eventually, the nightmares stopped. Sometime around high school. When he was so busy with basketball and academics. When he learned overachieving, being great at everything, meant no one could ever reject you. He’s certain there’s no correlation there, though.

Last night, for the first time in a decade, the nightmare came back. In full force. He wasn’t a tween in this version. He was an adult, no longer searching for his mom or Tevin. Jordan didn’t knowwhohe was looking for, but they weren’t there.

Just like his bio dad promised.

Jordan woke shivering and gasping and lost. Why was he dreaming aboutthatagain? He’s not alone. He has his family and a promising career and…

Well, he doesn’t need another “and.”

Because he’s fine. Better than fine.

Jordan’s fuckinggreat.

Except now he’s running on four hours’ sleep. A dull ache thuds against the front of his skull. And it’s way too early to be hearing Javi’s rich, full-bellied laugh from across the lobby.

He’s surrounded by a legion of interns. They hang on his every word. Stars in their wide, newborn eyes. Like he’s incredible. Some kind of mythical king with lightly bronzed skin and a cartoon villain’s mustache.

Jordan plunks the doughnut box on the reception desk. “What’s wrong with everyone?”

Kim swoops in, opening the lid. “What do you mean?”

“It’s like”—Jordan glares in Javi’s direction—“he has them under some kind of spell.”

Kim bites into a Butter Toffee doughnut. “Who? Javi?”

Jordan can only grunt, too fixated on the way Javi’s got one hand on Sydney’s shoulder. His other hand cups a mug of steaming coffee. He leans into Matilda’s side and grins at Jason like they’re old friends.

It’s disgusting.