Page 135 of Pink Ink

I need to figure out where to go from here with my dad, and if it’s worth risking my life to know. And I need to get away from Maddox before he ruins me beyond repair.

Taking a deep breath, I keep my gaze fixed to the side and focus on keeping tears out of my eyes.

“Well… thank you for…” I wave my hand and rise to my feet.Getting me out of there. Telling me everything when you didn’t really have to give me that much. Even though you don’t want me. Even though you think I’m not good enough for you. “I’m going to head home. I’m sure no one is following me.”

Maddox grabs my hand and pulls me back onto the couch closer to him. “Stay.”

I’m exhausted and raw, and his games have gotten old. He just gave me a list of reasons why we can’t be together, and now he wants to have a sleepover?

“Seriously?” I yank my arm away and jump to my feet. “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t stay under the same roof as someone who led me on for a bit of fun.” My voice rises with every word.

“Stay.”Why does he need to look at me like I couldn’t be more wrong if I tried? Is he so self-absorbed that he doesn’t realize how agonizing this is?

“I don’t want to stay around someone who doesn’t feel the same way I do.”

“Reyna—”

“No.”I whip my head side to side. My eyes heat with the urge to cry because everything he said about his feelings toward me was a lie.“I’m me.”The girl whose own parents never chose her.“And you’re you.”The legend made flesh. Repeating the words he told me tastes like acid.

“Rey—”

“I’m no one,” I choke. “Some wannabe with a camera up to no good. Who can’t come up with her own ideas. A fuckingfraud. A failure who will never be good enough for anything.”

“Stop talking—”

Tears stream down my face, and I can’t stop them.

“My father never wanted me. My mom didn’t even stick around to see how pathetic her daughter became.” I was a good girl. I got good grades in school. Ate my vegetables. Volunteered. Did my chores and homework without being asked. I just wanted my dad to come home and see me for me, not as an obligation. But I was always sofucked in the head. “I’m a nobody. A nothing. Someone who’ll never amount to anything more than a decaying gravestone. I wouldn’t dare soil your place with my pres—”

He clasps my face in his hands, stopping my rambling. “I’m obsessed with you, and I think it will kill me.”

I suck in a sharp breath, searching his eyes for a lie. “Don’t.”

“I’m wholly, completely, and madly consumed by you, and it might kill me. Life and death lost meaning, and the only thing that made me feel human was art, and that was gone too. Until you came along. You haunt me while I’m awake. While I’m sleeping. I can’t breathe because of you.”

“Maddox, you can’t.” Can’t keep lying. Leading me on. Making me fall for him, just to take it all away.

“Ican, and I will.”

I choke on a sob when he presses our foreheads together. It’s all too much. I try to shove him away.

“No.” I shake my head against his.

Lie, lie, lie, always fucking lying.

“Then why did you push me away like that?” I cry. “Why did you say the things you did and prove every awful thought in my head right?”

He claims he wants me, yet he threw me aside with no regard for the damage. I know now that he had to push me away, but he didn’t need to do it the way he did.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” Maddox’s voice breaks and he tugs me closer. “I didn’t want to, but I thought it was the only way I could keep you safe. Until the day someone puts me in the dirt, the only person I’ll ever be is yours. My only regret in this life is that I made you think that you weren’t everything to me, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. You’re all I’ve ever wanted and everything I shouldn’t have.”

I can’t formulate the words to describe how I’m feeling right now; I just know it hurts a lot. My skin is burning. I want to remember what it’s like to wake up and not wish that I hadn’t.

“Please,”I rasp.

Please don’t lie to me.

Please don’t break my heart again.