Page 31 of The Midwife By the Sea

‘Let me get you both a drink. You can leave the presents for Danni and Charlie over there, or so I’m told.’ He gestured towards a table covered by a white linen tablecloth, adorned with tiny pink roses. ‘My wonderful wife had this all planned out perfectly and my only job as uncle is to make sure no one is left in need of a drink at any point. Although if truth be told, my plan is to make sure everyone is given their first drink, and then show them where to get their next one from when they want it.’

Joe winked at them, grinning as his wife rolled her eyes. ‘No slacking off, Joseph Carter. If you want the title of favourite uncle, you’ll have to earn it.’

‘Even if I am the only uncle!’ he quipped back and Hope’s heart lightened a little. He and Esther might not have been able to have a baby yet, but that didn’t mean they didn’t already have a family of their own. They were obviously incredibly close to Danni and Charlie, who Hope knew was an only child like Esther. It provided the opportunity for Esther and Joe to have a central role in the lives of Danni and Charlie’s children if they wanted it, and it was clear they did.

‘Just get Hope and Louie a drink, before I put you on piñata duty, or you’ll only have yourself to blame when you get whacked in the face by an overly enthusiastic child wielding a big stick.’ Esther couldn’t keep a straight face as she said it, even before Joe picked up her hand, kissing it like he was auditioning for a part inBridgerton.

‘Your wish is my command.’

‘It had better be.’ She grinned again, ushering him in the direction of the makeshift bar, as she turned to greet the next group of arrivals.

Hope wanted to soak in every element of the brief moments they spent with Joe, listening to his back and forth with Louie, the exchange filled with the same kind of warmth and humour she’d witnessed from him every time they met. He was a good man. That fact hit home in every encounter they had. If she didn’t already have a father who was also an incredibly good man – perhaps the best there was – that might have been enough to sway her decision. But Esther was a wonderful person too and, no matter how many times Hope went over and over it in her mind, she was still no closer to knowing whether she could justify the pain it might cause Esther to hear that Joe had got someone else pregnant, even if it was decades before they had married. Instead, she tried to content herself with making the most of the time she spent in his company, until he had to move away to mingle with other guests and fulfil the responsibility of making sure no one was without a drink in their hand. After all, everyone would need one when it was time to toast Danni, Charlie and the latest addition to their family.

The baby shower had been in full swing for almost two hours before Hope had the chance to spend any more time with Joe. She was sitting with Louie, some of the other midwives and their partners, and Louie’s aunt and uncle, Gwen and Barry.

‘How’s everyone doing, can I get anyone another drink?’ Joe offered, still working hard to fulfil his duties, despite his earlier jokes about leaving people to get on with it.

‘We’re all having a great time. Why don’t you sit down for five minutes, I’ve not seen you stop since we got here,’ Gwen instructed, patting the empty seat beside her, where Izzy had been sitting until a few minutes beforehand. Most of the children were busy at the teddy bears’ picnic, which was being overseen by Esther and a few of the staff from A&E, but Izzy had gone to take some photos, leaving her youngest child, baby Delilah, snuggled up in her father’s arms.

‘How could I resist when I get an offer from you, Gwen? Although, if Esther spots me sitting down, you’re going to have to tell her you made me do it.’ He smiled, but it didn’t sound entirely like he was joking.

‘Cracking the whip, is she?’ Gwen said, matching his smile with her own. ‘That’s what I like to see, us girls keeping you boys on your toes.’

‘I’ve got no objection to that at all.’ Joe suddenly sounded incredibly tired, but his concern wasn’t for himself. ‘It’s just that she’s been pushing herself so hard with this, wanting to make everything perfect for Danni, but I know my sister would hate the idea of Esther running herself into the ground. Work has been pretty-full on lately too, and she seems to be finding that the transition between day and night shifts takes a lot more toll lately. I just don’t want her to push herself too hard and, if I’m completely honest, I’ll be glad when today’s over.’

‘I find the shift changes harder and harder the older I’ve got,’ Jess said.

‘Oh God, me too,’ Anna agreed. ‘And hitting forty was like hitting a brick wall, but Esther has got a good few years on all of us.’

‘Maybe you all just need to learn to nap anywhere, like Delilah.’ Izzy’s husband, Noah, stroked his baby daughter’s forehead. ‘We were at a wedding reception last weekend and she was in her buggy sound asleep, while the disco was blaring out about ten metres away. Although, to be fair, you could drop a packet of wet wipes on the wrong day and she’d be instantly awake and screaming before you even had the chance to pick them up again.’

‘Do you think she’ll wake up if I give her a cuddle?’ Joe asked. ‘I’m dying to.’

‘Go for it.’ Noah placed the baby into Joe’s arms. ‘She’s due a bottle now anyway, so it won’t hurt, even if she does wake up.’

‘She’s so beautiful.’ Joe’s voice had taken on a tone that Hope hadn’t heard before, and she couldn’t quite pinpoint the emotion behind it. Was it wonder? Or sadness? Or maybe she was just projecting her own emotions onto him, and making this moment out to be far more than it really was.

‘I think she is, but then I’m bound to be biased, aren’t I?’ Noah acknowledged with a smile, but Joe shook his head.

‘I think anyone would say the same about Delilah. Although I’m pretty sure I’ll feel that way about my child too, whatever they look like.’

‘Is there something you haven’t told us?’ Gwen leant forward in her seat, not missing a thing. In the short time Hope had known the older woman, she’d quickly learned that Gwen was never afraid to ask the kind of questions other people would shy away from. Hope desperately wanted Joe to say yes, but instead he shook his head.

‘Not yet, but we’re starting to consider adoption as a serious option.’

‘That’s amazing, and you know what I think about how incredible adoption can be.’ Jess beamed, before turning to look in Hope’s direction They didn’t need to exchange words, Hope knew that Jess was waiting for permission to continue and, when she nodded, Jess did exactly that. ‘And of course, Hope can tell you about experiencing it from the other side, having been adopted herself.’

Hope had told Jess she was happy to talk about her adoption after it had come up at the delivery of Rebecca Kim’s baby and at the infertility support group. Nonetheless, Jess had still looked towards Hope for her agreement before saying anything, and Hope had given it, because it would have seemed odd not to. She’d never expected to have to talk to her biological father about it in a hypothetical way, but here she was.

‘It’s been amazing for me. I’ve got the best parents I could ask for and three fabulous sisters, who are my family in every sense of the word. And I think you and Esther would make brilliant parents.’ All of that was true and looking at the expression on Joe’s face, she was glad she’d had the chance to say it, whatever else she did or didn’t tell him in the future.

‘That’s great to hear. I think the thing that worries Esther the most is that the child might always feel a bond to the biological family that we can’t replicate.’

‘In my experience, bonds are about a lot more than shared DNA.’ Hope knew this to be true and when she’d met Laura, all it had done was strengthen that belief. Yet with Joe she could sense a bond she almost wished she didn’t feel.

‘So you’ve never wanted to find your birth family?’ There was Gwen again, asking the kind of question that others might have steered clear of, and suddenly it felt like Hope was being backed into a corner she couldn’t get out of. She wanted to close down the conversation and talk about something else, before she developed a kind of spontaneous Tourette’s Syndrome and announced to everyone within earshot that Joe was her biological father.

‘I decided to find my birth mother because of some medical information I needed, but I’ve no idea who my birth father is.’ It was the same story she’d told Jess, but it was only when she felt Louie stiffen beside her that she realised what she’d done. He knew that wasn’t true and that she’d just lied to the others. What he had no idea of was why, and she had even less idea how she was going to explain it to him when he asked.