Page 70 of The Light Between Worlds

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

And at the very last,

When I go back to earth

And all my joyous body

Puts off the red and white

That once had been so proud,

If men should pass above

With false and feeble pity,

My dust will find a voice

To answer them aloud:

“Be still, I am content,

Take back your poor compassion,

Joy was a flame in me

Too steady to destroy;

Lithe as a bending reed

Loving the storm that sways her—

I found more joy in sorrow

Than you could find in joy.”

I read feverishly, looking for Evelyn, searching for a single word of her own. It’s as if she erased herself and her voice long before finally vanishing, and all I want is one leftover glimmer, a small lingering spark of who she was.

And then, in her final letter, I find it.

Dear Philippa,

I love you. I miss you. I’m going home.

It’s something. There are no answers to be read there, but if I’ve failed to find truth elsewhere, I can’t expect it to appear in Evelyn’s own familiar writing. Still, I run one finger across the loops and swirls of dried ink, wishing to read in the shape ofthem whether she was happy, whether her resolve brought her peace.

Evelyn of the Woodlands, walker of worlds, heart of my very heart, what have you done?

50

“—YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT IT, PHILIPPA. MYparents would love to have you, and I’ve got three older brothers you could civilize.”

Millie Green is speaking, though I’m hardly listening to her. We’re all at our usual table, under the window in the refectory, but Ev isn’t with us. She’s sat at the fringes for so long, always where I can keep an eye on her, but this year, things have changed. I scan the long, table-filled room, desperate to catch a glimpse of my sister.

And there she is, alone, at the back of the room, a book (of poetry, if I know Ev) propped up against the saltcellar. I remember how she looked, our first winter after the Woodlands—set apart, as if nothing and no one could touch her. She looks like that now.

Which is why, when Millie repeats her invitation to visit her family in Boston after graduation in spring, I all but snap.