Page 53 of The Light Between Worlds

“Hapwell. No need to ring once you’ve made up your mind. Just show up in the morning, tell Kitty at the front desk that I’ve hired you on, and she’ll take you to my office.”

She walks away, and I’m struck by her confidence in me, both in offering the job and assuming I’ll take it. I’m not exactly glad—my heart won’t twist itself into that shape just now—but I am relieved to have something to fall back on if needed. This is, after all, my own peculiar magic—whatever circumstances I find myself in, I always land on my feet.

That thought leaves me guiltier than ever, with Evelyn’s words ringing in my ears.

I want you to leave, Philippa. I need to stand on my own.

I should have known better than to listen.

37

THE SCHOOL BELL RINGS AND I HURRY AWAY FROMLatin, hoping to catch Evelyn between classes.

I find her sitting alone on the staircase that leads to Lit, pressed up against the wall and staring out of a window that looks toward the nearby wood. I sit beside her and set my books down. The bell rings again, and we ought to be in our classrooms by now, but I ignore it, as does Ev.

“What are you thinking, darling?” I ask.

“About home.” She rests her chin in her hands. “Look how the beech leaves are starting to turn gold—they were already that color when we left. Do you think it’s snowing by now?”

“I don’t know.”

It’s been a month since start of term, eight months since the Woodlands. It’s still strange to be eleven and fourteen again, chafing under the restrictions of school bells and lights-out and children’s games. Evelyn has drawn into herself, grown still as a stone. I know that desire to keep your troubles close, to hide your wounds until they’ve had a chance to heal, and so as much as I can, I let her be. As for me, now we’re backin our own world, I’ve done the opposite—I feel I must keep busy or I’ll founder. So I’ve turned this school into a project of mine, and enlisted the rest of the girls as willing troops. It’s never quite enough, though.

I press a piece of paper into Evelyn’s hand.

“I’m starting up a club—”

“What, another one?” she cuts in, and I roll my eyes. But I’m pleased she’s even noticed my frantic activity.

“Yes. This one you’ll like. I’d really love for you to join us, Ev. It would do you good.”

Evelyn stares down at the hand-lettered flyer dubiously. “The St. Agatha’s Aid Committee?”

“Yes. We’re going to start out with sending books to soldiers in hospital. It won’t be too taxing, I promise. Please, Evie?”

For the first time, Evelyn looks at me, and on the inside, I shrink away. There’s no light in her eyes. It’s like staring down a deep, dark well.

“Very well. If you want me to, I’ll come.”

“Thank you.” I give her shoulders a squeeze. “I’m late for maths—I’ve got to get going. Don’t you have somewhere you ought to be?”

Ev pulls away, and her voice goes hard. “Yes. I do.”

I don’t know what to say. The things I’ve done can’t be changed, and we all made our choices on that beach. Since we got back I’ve lived in fear of this moment, when Evelyn finally turns on me for asking her to leave.

But she doesn’t. She softens almost instantly, and offers me a smile like a gift. “Dear Philippa. What would I do without you to remind me?”

I smile back and hurry down the stairs without speaking. At thebottom, just out of view, I stop and cover my face with my hands, breathing until the prick of tears and swirl of nausea pass. I don’t want to remind her. All I want is for my sister to forget.

When I’ve pulled myself together, I start off down the hall. There’s no time to dwell, no time to wallow.

This world’s war hasn’t ended, and I have work to do.

38

AN UNFAMILIAR CAR SITS OUT FRONT OF THE HOUSE, IN Apuddle of light that drips from the streetlamp. I step past it and push open the front door.

“Hello?” Shedding my coat and scarf, I peer into the empty sitting room. No Mum and Dad. No Jamie.