Page 78 of A Mismatch Made in London

I could have climbed the stairs and asked Juliet to keep me company, but I found I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Besides, I was very aware that Juliet no longer needed me every minute of the day.

But what I truly wanted was to go home and be with my family, to see my mother and father again, to rock my baby sister to sleep, and to make toy soldiers for my brothers—to be useful again. I wanted to be home.

Was I even ready to be married?

Jeremy appeared in the doorway. “The carriage awaits.”

“Thank you.”

I searched his face for any sign of resentment for the trouble I had caused in asking for the carriage, but there was none that I could see. He even smiled slightly as he took my hand and walked me to the door, then handed me into the carriage, climbing in after me.

We sat opposite each other, as was the custom. He spoke first.

“I shall ride to Buckinghamshire today and speak to your father.”

“I beg you would not, for I know you are wanted at home for Juliet’s wedding.”

“The wedding is not for four days. Juliet is going early.”

“Would it not be best for you to accompany her? Why not go with Juliet, then you may come to see my father when the wedding is over.”

He just stared back at me.

“It is what I wish,” I said. “And I also wish to go home. I am...” I almost said I was sick of London, but that sounded petty and peevish. “I miss my family.”

“Very well. Thank you for being honest with me. Would you be willing to wait for me to return from the wedding? I can be back in London the evening of the wedding—that is in four days—and we can travel together in my carriage the next day.”

I thought about it a moment. I could travel alone and be home tomorrow.

“I thank you for the offer, but I shall go home tomorrow. You may come as you wish.”

The carriage stopped, and the footman opened the door and set down the steps. Jeremy jumped down and helped me out. He walked me to the door and inside.

No one was around, and I suddenly realized I should have said goodbye to him outside the door, for he leaned close as if he would kiss me.

I held out my hand, which made contact with his solid chest. “You scramble my thoughts when you kiss me,” I whispered.

“I do?” A grin spread slowly over his face.

“Which is why we shouldn’t do it, not until we decide if we will marry.” Part of me was proud of myself for denying him. The other part was upset that I would not get to kiss him.

“As you wish,” he said, taking a step back. “I shall respect your decision, as I respect you.” He made a gentlemanly bow. “And if you change your mind, I am more than happy to take you home when I return to London, after Juliet’s wedding.”

“Thank you, but I believe I must go tomorrow.”

“As you wish,” he repeated.

And then he was gone.

22

Mr. and Mrs. Kendall generously loaned me their carriage to take me halfway home, sending a servant to accompany me, and we traveled the rest of the way by hired coach.

“I do not mind lending you the carriage, but I must confess, I don’t understand why you don’t simply wait for Mr. Beaumont to take you home,” Mrs. Kendall said.

I had a lot of time to think about her words, as well as Jeremy’s, on the long carriage ride. Should I believe what he said about loving me? How could I know he was telling the truth? Men said a lot of things they didn’t mean. My experiences in London this Season had taught me that, if nothing else.

I tried to display in my mind all the things I knew about him. Actions spoke louder than words, after all. I tried to think of things he had done and said. Had I ever caught him in a lie? Had he ever been deliberately cruel to anyone? How did he treat the servants? These were the kinds of things that would reveal his character.