Page 70 of A Mismatch Made in London

I might be scolded later for going on my own, but it was worth it if I could find it.

These woods were so lovely and quiet, so comforting to my soul. I took deliberate deep breaths, feeling that little had changed here in a thousand years, maybe longer, with dense ferns, fallen branches and decaying leaves, and the thick leaves overhead, giving shelter and a sense of reverence and stability, as these trees had been alive for ages.

The Shelley family themselves must have been here for a hundred years at least.

I passed the spot where we had stopped before and went in the direction Mr. Shelley had pointed. The bushes and ferns became slightly denser as I wondered if I was going in the right direction. And then I began to hear a faint roar. I kept going and the roar grew louder. Finally, I saw a clearing through the leaves.

I stepped quickly forward, pushing the last branch aside, and then I saw the white water rushing over the side of some rocks.

I couldn’t see the bottom of the waterfall, so I moved closer, aware that there was an edge. But when I was still several feet from it, a voice said, “Take care you don’t fall.”

My heart leapt. I turned to see Jeremy Beaumont holding a pencil and a book. He was sitting on a bench but quickly stood.

“I came to see the waterfall.” As if I must explain myself.

He did not appear to disapprove. Instead, he extended his hand to me, as he did when he asked me to dance at all the balls we’d attended together. But this time he stood gazing into my eyes.

My heart mimicked the beating of the nearby water as it rushed and fell off the edge of the cliff.

I should move away, but I felt frozen. Just when I began to feel too nervous to meet his gaze any longer, he turned his head toward the waterfall, placed my hand on his arm, and led me toward it. He stopped and stared down at the pool of water about twenty feet below.

The water fell past giant rocks and disappeared into the dark pool below, then flowed languidly, the stream following a path that led around a bend and into the woods.

My eyes, however, were drawn to the falls, the loud, rushing water, white and foamy, how it endlessly fell, refreshing everything, making the surrounding moss and ferns and grass glisten with droplets.

“What do you think?”

I realized Jeremy was watching me instead of the waterfall. Would he kiss me, as he had the last two times we’d been alone?

The thought was so disquieting, I started saying whatever came to mind.

“It’s beautiful, a beautiful waterfall. I’ve never seen such a large waterfall in nature. It’s so much lovelier than the waterfalls at Vauxhall Gardens.”

“It isn’t really the same thing, is it?”

“No, this is much better. It brings to mind the God who created the earth and filled it with good things, beautiful, natural things.”

He was looking at me again in that intense, startling way.

Was Miss Freeman right about Jeremy’s feelings for me? When had he changed?

I gazed at the waterfall again, my hand on his arm. “It makes me feel a bit dizzy, looking down like this.”

“May I hold your hand? It is easy to slip and fall.”

“Of course.” I lifted my hand from his arm, and he took it in his much larger one.

His fingers felt strong, and I swallowed, knowing that it wasn’t entirely proper for us to be here together, to be holding hands without even gloves to separate us. That is, unless I was sure I was going to marry him. And I wasn’t sure, as I’d repeatedly told Juliet, Jeremy, and myself.

I was afraid to meet his gaze lest he move closer and kiss me.

Truly, it was unnerving to be so close to the edge of the cliff, to know that if I fell, I’d be broken on the rocks below. I was nota drop of water, after all. I was flesh and bone. And I was exceedingly aware of Jeremy beside me, holding my hand, his warm skin touching mine.

I watched the water a while longer, and then I took a step back, my knees shaky.

Jeremy said, “Shall we sit?”

He led me to the nearby bench. I let go of his hand as I sat, then he seated himself beside me.