Page 75 of The Good Fortune of Miss Robbins

“Mr. Merritt asked me to marry him,” I blurted out, but quietly enough that no one else in the room could hear me.

“I see.” His jaw hardened.

Was that all he was going to say? He looked away from me, straight ahead at the children playing.

“I suppose he told you, since you are friends.”

“He did not.”

“Well, I haven’t given him an answer yet.”

I could see no reaction in him. Finally, he said, “You haven’t given him an answer because you haven’t decided whether or not to accept him?”

“I am not in love with him, and so I suppose I will refuse him.” I watched him carefully, hoping to get some insight into his thoughts, but he was stone-faced. “I thought perhaps you might have some advice for me.”

“Now you are asking for my advice?”

“Yes, I am.”

He turned and looked at me. Still, I couldn’t read his expression.

“You should do what your heart is telling you. Is it telling you to marry Mr. Merritt?”

“No. But you know him better than I do.” To provoke him to say something, I said, “I am sure Mrs. Drake thinks I should accept him. She was annoyed that I refused Mr. Welton, and she seemed disgusted that I would not accept Mr. Merritt either.”

“Mrs. Drake thinks, like most people, that money and status, names and estates are the most important factors in whether a lady should marry a gentleman, and that a lady must marry and have children.”

“What do you think?”

He stared hard at me for a moment, then looked away. “I think you should please yourself, and only you know what would please you.”

That was no help at all. “What would please me would be to marry someone who loves me and whom I love. And I don’t believe Mr. Merritt loves me, and I don’t love Mr. Merritt.”I love you.

Part of me wanted to say it.

At that moment, Annabelle suddenly put her doll down, went into the corner of the room, and burst into tears.

I ran over, reaching her before Hannah or Lord Brookhaven.

“Annabelle, what’s wrong?” I knelt beside her and watched the tears stream down her face. She didn’t speak, only wiped her tears with her hands, so I asked, “Did you and Sarah quarrel?” I hadn’t seen them quarreling, but I could have missed something.

Annabelle shook her head.

Lord Brookhaven and Hannah stood a respectful distance away, allowing me to talk with her privately.

“What is it, then? Won’t you tell me?”

She looked at me, and though she seemed calmer, a lone tear slid down her cheek. “Do you love Sarah more than me?”

“Oh, Annabelle.” My chest ached at her question and what she must be feeling. She’d been abandoned by so many people in her life—everyone, in fact, except her older brother, Lord Brookhaven. “I love you very much, Annabelle. I’m so sorry I haven’t visited you more often. But you mustn’t think I love you any less because Sarah and Joshua have come to live with me. They had nowhere else to go. But I have an idea. Why don’t we ask your brother if you may come and sleep over at my house? Would you like that? We can have breakfast together, take tea together, and you can play with Sarah and Joshua. Would you like that?”

“Can Samuel come too?”

“Of course. Absolutely.” I hugged her tight, wondering if I was the most selfish, obtuse person in the world to have not realized that she would be feeling this way.

We talked it over with Lord Brookhaven and the other children and soon a plan was concocted to have Annabelle and Samuel spend the night at my house tonight, and then all the children would spend a night at Lord Brookhaven’s the next night.

Hannah stayed behind to pack Samuel and Annabelle’s things and would soon follow us. Then all the children, the four of them holding hands, walked the short way to my townhouse, with Lord Brookhaven and me close behind.