Page 41 of The Good Fortune of Miss Robbins

“You did not. I was pleased to have you there. You were as welcome as anyone, and will be for the rest of the time.”

“I will not be attending this evening. Please excuse me.”

“I don’t wish to excuse you.” The edge was back in his voice.

“Forgive me, but you must excuse me.”

Lord Brookhaven was quiet. I was too afraid to look at him.

The silence began to feel awkward, so I said, “I must go ... to my room. Good day, sir.”

I began walking toward the house, then I heard him call out. “Miss Robbins.”

I stopped but did not turn around.

“I shall see you tonight for dinner.”

I did not respond, only continued walking.

Millicent came to take tea with me and tried to talk me into coming to the next three days’ festivities, even after I told her what Mr. Merritt and Lord Markeley had said.

“You must come. It will look strange if you suddenly stop showing up. Besides, who will I talk to if you are not there?”

“I’m sorry, Millicent. Truly, I am. Surely someone will talk to you. It would be too rude to just ignore you and let you sit all alone.”

“I won’t be alone. I’ll have Father.” She rolled her eyes and sighed.

We sat in morose silence, sipping our tea and nibbling on biscuits.

I sent my apologies for not coming to dinner, saying I had a headache, which was true enough. Millicent promised to tell me all about it, especially anything that was said about me. Again, I almost told her not to bother, that I didn’t want to know what they were saying about me. It was too hurtful. But I knew my curiosity would overpower my fear of hearing it.

The next three days I did not even have the distraction of my lessons with Samuel and Annabelle. I did go and visit them for a while every day, to play a game with them, tell them a story, or listen to them chatter about their new puppies.

Millicent came every day to visit me for an hour or two, but as I’d expected, the other guests were much friendlier to her now that she wasn’t constantly talking to me.

When it was time for everyone to depart, Millicent and I said our farewells, promising to write. She had said she was not a very enthusiastic letter writer, but I hoped I’d at least hear from her once or twice in the coming months. I would miss her. I enjoyed her friendship, and it had been good to make a new friend.

It had been inordinately stormy and rainy, so I hadn’t seen or spoken to Lord Brookhaven for a few days, until he called me into his library. The last of the guests had departed two hours earlier.

He looked a bit more animated than usual, and his desk was messy with paper and ink, blotters and pens, as if he’d been writing multiple letters. His cravat was missing, and I saw a bit of dark hair sticking out above his shirt. Did he understand how attractive he was to me? He couldn’t, else he wouldn’t look at me so intensely. It made my knees weak.

“Are you unhappy here, Miss Robbins?”

“I have not been unhappy.”But I am in love with you and I cannotmarry you,as everyone considers me to be beneath you ...Still, there was some joy just in being in love and being in his presence.

Lord Brookhaven’s jaw was set in stone, even as a muscle in his cheek jumped. “You mentioned leaving a few days ago, but there is no reason for you to leave. My guests will not dare to gossip about you, and Lady Derringer would fix things even if they did. She has a lot of influence on society.”

“I am glad to hear that, sir, for your sake.”

“As I told you, you do not need to worry about me.” His voice sounded like he was grumbling. Then he stuck his hand in his pocketand said, “Here is your pay, twenty pounds.” He held out the coins to me.

“That is too much.” I curled my hand against my stomach, refusing to take it.

“You must be paid.” He moved quite close to me.

“But you don’t owe me that much. We agreed on forty pounds per annum, and I’ve only worked for three months. You only owe me ten.”

“If I wish to give you twenty pounds, it is my own money. I may do with it what I like.”