Page 21 of The Good Fortune of Miss Robbins

“Are you sure you should be thanking me? I’m not certain you will be able to get them to do any schoolwork at all now.”

“Well, they will be happy, at least.”

“And you, Miss Robbins? Are you happy?”

I opened my mouth but then shut it. I didn’t know how to answer.

“Never mind. I saw how pleased you were for the children. You are a generous soul, Miss Robbins.”

He looked at me quite intently, and the longer he gazed at me, the harder it was to hold back the threatening tears. What was wrong with me?

“Well,” he said gently, “you may go and take your rest. Your duties are complete for today. Good day, Miss Robbins.”

The next day, the children had just finished their lessons and gone with the nurse. I was putting away our books when a handsome middle-aged lady appeared in the doorway.

“Miss Robbins? Forgive me for my lack of manners.” She stepped toward me.

Lord Brookhaven came into the room right behind her. “Lady Derringer, this is Miss Charlotte Robbins. Miss Robbins, this is my aunt, Lady Derringer.”

We exchanged polite greetings. She was so elegant, both in her dress and her manners, but not in an off-putting way. She possessed an easy grace and an utter lack of haughtiness in her demeaner.

“I have spoken to the dressmaker,” Lady Derringer said, “and I like what she has planned.”

I got the feeling she was studying me as we talked about the dresses that were being made for me, discussing colors and styles and fabrics. She was certainly thinking of what would look best with my complexion and eye color, but there was more to her scrutiny than just choosing the most flattering clothes. I felt as if she was trying to decipher my character.

“Well, if you’re going to talk only about muslins and lace and pink embroidery—” Lord Brookhaven said, taking a step toward the door.

“There, there,” Lady Derringer said, more in irritation than placating. “I am done with that. Besides, we have a lot to do before your guests arrive.” She turned to me. “Miss Robbins, it was lovely meeting you. I hope you will enjoy the party, and I shall enjoy getting better acquainted with you in the coming weeks.”

They were gone, and I was left with two impressions. One, that Lady Derringer was as genuine and unpretentious as her nephew, and two, that Lord Brookhaven had been nervous for her to meet me.

Eight

It had rained the evening before, but I was determined to take my morning walk, as the sun was peeking out from behind the clouds, and the grass and flowers were sure to be sparkling with water droplets.

Spring was so lovely for my first year at Lowndesbury House, with the blooming daffodils and freesia, wood violets and hyacinths. The weather was not the best, with frequent rains and blustery days, yet it was rare that I missed my walk, for I always felt a bit forlorn when I couldn’t take a walk.

I pulled my shawl more tightly around my shoulders, as the air was damp and there was a cool breeze that seemed to cut right through my skirts, but I fully expected to see Lord Brookhaven.

I wasn’t inclined to think overmuch about why Lord Brookhaven talked with me so often; I just wanted to enjoy it. We’d become even more familiar with each other, as he frequently smiled, and he even laughed on occasion. My heart quickened whenever I saw him, and I ruminated, throughout my days of teaching Annabelle and Samuel, about the many things I would like to tell him. I also replayed our past conversations, sometimes over and over, as it was such a pleasant way to pass the time.

My talks with Lord Brookhaven were the extent of my friendly conversing with other adults, besides writing my letters to Hattieand Susan and anyone else from school who wrote me back. No one else at Lowndesbury House ever spoke more than a word or two to me. I couldn’t really be angry with them. They weren’t used to governesses staying long, and I honestly understood their resentment of me. The scullery maids, rising before dawn and doing all of the most laborious work, collapsed into bed as soon as they were finished with their work, which was always after the sun went down.

Even though I was sometimes lonely, I couldn’t complain, as I was allowed to freely roam the house and borrow any book I wished from the large library. And although Annabelle and Samuel were doing well academically, for they were fast learners, they were not the easiest students to teach sometimes. They were understandably reluctant to obey me and allow me to get close to them. Samuel especially had said some things about not expecting me to stay at Lowndesbury House for long. Therefore, I aimed to be patient, as I knew what it was like to not be able to trust that someone would stay in one’s life forever.

As a student at Mrs. Southey’s School for Young Ladies, I’d seen more teachers come and go than I could probably recall in one sitting. But even more so, I’d seen students come and go, sometimes staying for only a month or two. The school was my entire world, especially as a young child, and the loss of a fellow student and friend was painful. And yet I continued to befriend the new students who came to board at the school. Most had families that they would return to after a short time. Only the ones who had no family at all, like Hattie, Susan, and me, stayed long-term.

Rebecca Mead once said to me,“I pity you,living year after year with such unvaried society at theschool. You must have seen no more than thirty orforty people your entire life.”She’d sneered, and her sister laughed. George Mead had merely stared at me in that predatory way of his.

I shuddered at the memory.

I was walking up the lane toward the house when a carriage camerattling up behind me. Lord Brookhaven rarely had guests. Perhaps it was his solicitor, whom I’d learned was married and thus marked him off my list.

I stepped off the lane and waited for the carriage to pass. But I heard a female voice say, “Stop! Stop the carriage!” Then a woman stuck her head out the window. “Miss Robbins? Is that you?”

“Yes, it is.”

It was the young lady whose carriage had overturned the day after I arrived.