Page 103 of The Good Fortune of Miss Robbins
How many marriage proposals had I refused?
I hadn’t expected to get another one after I lost my fortune. My days of flirtation and proposals seemed over.
I’d seriously considered marrying Gabriel Johnson. He was handsome, moral, and decent, but the thought of being his wife felt ... oppressive somehow. Perhaps I was being ridiculous, overly sensitive, selfish even, to refuse Gabriel Johnson’s proposal. Would I regret it?
I wasn’t sure how I could financially care for Joshua and Sarah or how I’d be allowed to adopt them on my own, without a husband. But if there was a way, I’d find it.
The servant announced Lord Brookhaven.
I stood up quickly, just in time to see Lord Brookhaven enter looking slightly disheveled. His cravat was askew, and his hair was sticking up as though he’d been raking his hand through it.
We greeted each other, then he paced to one side of the room. I’d never seen that expression on his face before. Then he paced toward the other side but stopped in front of me—and fell to one knee.
“Miss Robbins, I’ve been a fool. Can you forgive me?”
I wasn’t sure how to reply, but he only paused a moment before continuing.
“Please tell me you still feel as you did when we were at Lowndesbury House. You said in your letter that you cherished our friendship and missed our talks, that you thought there was something tender and beautiful between us—and there was. I was just too much of a fool to tell you. Instead I invited people to my home who were your inferiors, people who didn’t appreciate you for who you are.”
My head was spinning. I forced myself to keep listening, my eyes locked intently on his face.
“I know I don’t deserve you. I’ve deceived you and turned your life upside down, exposed you to criticism and gossip. I never should have done any of it. I was wrong to do it, but please tell me you’re not marrying Mr. Johnson. Oh, I know he appears to be the perfect husband for you, but please say you did not engage yourself to him. I don’t believe he could ever love and cherish you as much as I do or as you deserve.”
His face was so very dear, so intense and contrite. I could hardly believe what he was saying. Was I dreaming?
“You love me?” I asked.
“I’ve been in love with you since you stood on the roof that first night and coaxed me to come inside with you. You said you were lost and couldn’t find your way back to your room. Do you remember?”
“I do remember.” My hands were clasped in my lap, but I moved one toward him. I’m not sure what I planned to do. I certainly couldn’t touch his face or smooth his hair back, as I wanted to do.
“But it was I who was lost, I who needed help finding my way.”
He grabbed my hand and held it between his, then kissed my knuckles.
The feel of his lips on my skin sent shivers across my shoulders and stole my breath. If this was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up.
My voice sounded breathy and strange as I said, “I ... I told Mr. Johnson that I couldn’t marry him. I refused him.”
Lord Brookhaven closed his eyes, his shoulders visibly relaxing.When he opened them, he said, “I know I’m not a good man, not like Johnson. He has dedicated himself to caring for orphans.”
I opened my mouth, trying to think how to express what I’d been thinking and feeling.
“You don’t have to explain. I know I’m not worthy of you, and I know I should have spoken sooner, should have asked you to marry me a hundred times before now, but if you will have me, if you think you could love me, please say you will marry me.”
The look in his eyes, intense and vulnerable, made my stomach flip. He was still holding my hand, but I lifted my other hand and pressed my palm to his cheek.
His gaze never left mine.
I realized he was waiting for an answer. I drew in a quick breath.
“I will marry you. And yes, I love you. I love you so very much.”
I barely got the words out before he leaned forward and covered my mouth with his.
I’d never been kissed before. The sensation was strange, intimate, warm, exciting.
My heart soared. He loved me. And he was kissing me.
