Page 75 of Fortress of Snow

“It is a very impressive castle. I am sure King Richard values it, and so should he.”

“So you like the castle?”

“Of course.”

“It is only me you do not like.”

“I never said I did not like you.”

“But you are judging me for not being more motherly to Juliana. You think I am too... I can’t imagine what. And now my heart is broken from your rejection.” Lady Bristow covered her face with her hands.

“I have not rejected you.”Not yet.

What could he say? He did not want to lie, and he had madeup his mind not to marry her. He just was not sure how to tell her, and it seemed she had noticed that he was not believing her deceptions anymore.

“You do not know what I have suffered, the cruelties at the hands of the earl, my husband.” She dabbed at her eyes with a cloth.

“I do not know. You are right.” He was reluctant to think she was lying about her husband. Perhaps he had been cruel to her and that much was true.

“And the child has hated me since she came to live here. Besides that, I don’t know how to be a mother. But if you help me... with your help, I can change. Will that make you happy?”

“I am sure I would never ask you to change for me. You must do what you know to be right.”

Her jaw hardened as she pursed her lips.

“You speak in riddles, and still you refuse to tell me if I will be your wife, if you will do as the king wishes and marry me.”

Perhaps it was wrong of him not to tell her the truth now. But something made him wait.

“I shall give you my answer very soon.” After he had notified his men and packed up his things.

Again, her jaw clenched. “Very well, but you should not let Juliana convince you that she is always calm and good and behaves well. She has given the servants so many bruises with her tantrums, kicking and screaming, biting and hitting. It has taken me a year to get her under control, and I fear you will undo all the good I’ve done for her.”

Lady Bristow stared down at her food, pushing it around with her knife.

“I am sorry you have had so much trouble with Juliana. We played together quite pleasantly with her nurse.”

Lady Bristow continued to stare down at her food.

“You understand nothing about children.” She looked up, gazing at him with round, wide eyes.

He bristled at her condescending remark. “As you know, I have no children and have not been responsible for any, but I was a child once. Children do have feelings and thoughts, just as adults do.”

“Why are you punishing me for the child’s sake?”

“I am not punishing you. That is not something I would do.”

She huffed out a breath. “Then perhaps you should trust my judgment instead of trying to take control. I have had charge over the child for a year now and I know what is best for her.”

“Very well.” Berenger was determined to say nothing more. He just had to bide his time and be ready to leave in the next couple of days.

He would pretend to acquiesce to her, but he was not willing to leave Juliana to this woman’s care, even if he had to take her away by force.

“Men never understand the care of a child the way women do.” Lady Bristow shook her head and smiled, as though trying to lighten the mood.

He could point out that she admitted she did not know how to care for a child, giving the excuse of her husband’s bad treatment. Although now that excuse seemed like manipulation.

She may truly have suffered at the hands of her first husband. He may have abused her, as Berenger knew for certain that many women were treated abominably by their husbands. But at this point he couldn’t help but question the truth of anything she might say.