Page 71 of Fortress of Snow

He was not ready to make a decision about marrying her. He knew he would have everything he always wanted if he married her, as she did seem to love him and have great affection for him. But he still had doubts that nibbled at the edges of his mind like a mouse nibbling a sheet of parchment. And he couldn’t help but feel that little Juliana was the key to understanding and to either putting his doubts to rest or confirming them.

He didn’t want to upset Juliana, but perhaps he might be able to talk to her about it, since she seemed to trust him now. So hewent in search of her in the tiny room where he had been told not to disturb her, as she was being tutored by her nurse.

He kept his footsteps quiet and eased up to the doorway and peeked inside.

Juliana was bent over a white cloth in her lap. The needle in her hand went in and out of the cloth as the child gave it all of her attention.

She suddenly sneezed.

“Juliana!” the nurse exclaimed and hurried over to her. “Did you sneeze on the cloth? If Lady Bristow sees that you soiled your work, she will have both our heads on a platter.”

“I am sorry. I don’t think it’s soiled. It will dry and—”

Her nurse gasped.

“What?”

The nurse tried to snatch the cloth from Juliana just as a drop of blood dripped from the child’s nose onto the cloth.

“No!” The nurse’s anguished whisper seemed to echo through the room as they both stared at the bright red stain.

Juliana burst into tears, holding her hand to her nose to try to stop the bleeding.

The nurse put down the embroidery and found a cloth and gave it to Juliana. “Here, take this and try to stop crying. It will only make it worse. Stuff it up your nose and hold your head up.” She gently tilted the child’s head up, even as she continued to cry.

Juliana held the cloth to her nose, tears streaming down her cheeks as the nurse tried to comfort her.

“It’s not your fault,” she said. The young servant looked ready to cry herself.

Was Lady Bristow so cruel and exacting? Juliana looked hardly old enough to be learning to embroider, especially not anything important, and it was not her fault if the cloth became soiled from a nosebleed.

Berenger’s chest ached as he wanted so badly to stride into the room and reassure the child and her nurse that Lady Bristow would not be angry and that all would be well. But something held him back.

He needed to see Lady Bristow’s reaction when she did not know he was watching. He didn’t want to be foolhardy, after all, assuming he knew her, when he had only known her a few weeks and several incidents had raised concerns.

He shrank back out of the doorway and went in search of Lady Bristow. He found her in the kitchen, instructing the cook about what to prepare for the evening meal.

“Sir Berenger. I was just about to go and find you,” she said with a radiant smile.

Such a smile should have made his heart leap in his chest, but somehow all he could see was the panic and horror on little Juliana’s face and her nurse’s when they contemplated this lady discovering the stain on the child’s embroidery. Suddenly Lady Bristow did not seem so beautiful and appealing.

But he couldn’t judge her. Not until he saw her reaction for himself.

“Shall we take Juliana for another walk on the seashore?” he asked Lady Bristow.

She continued to smile at him, but her eyes changed, darkening. She moved away from the cook and took his arm.

“I would be pleased—delighted—to take another walk with you,” she said in the same low voice she had used the previous night, leaning very close to his ear. “But we can go without Juliana. She is still engaged in her lessons.”

“Can she not take a rest from her lessons and walk with us?”

Lady Bristow laughed, a short, throaty chuckle. “I am sure you think girls have nothing very important to learn, but if we take her away from her lessons every day, she will grow up to be a know-nothing simpleton.”

“Well, we cannot have that. But it can do no harm for one day. Only for an hour or two. As a favor to me?” He looked her straight in the eye, stopping in the middle of the hallway outside the kitchen.

“How can I deny you anything?” She stared at his lips. “Anything you want.”

“Good. Will you go and fetch her while I change my shirt?”